Lindsay Lohan Exposed: Playboy Cover AND Secret Heath Ledger Love Leaked
I really try not to buy into the trainwreck side of celebrity culture. Life is kind of hard enough without the schadenfreude of mocking celebrities as they walk into a proverbial buzz saw. I really do try to do my best to keep my focus on the more positive stories in the world of Entertainment. It can, after all, be an aspirational place.
Sept. 28, 2011 - Paris, France - Looking slightly the worse for wear, LINDSAY LOHAN is escorted as she leaves the Raspoutine night club. (Credit Image: © Imago/ZUMAPRESS.com)
But there is something about Lindsay Lohan that I clearly can't stop talking about. (Nor can anyone else on the internet for that matter.) I think it's probably the whole child-star thing. She's so familiar to us. She was on Sesame Street for Sheen's-sake. And while I certainly take no actual joy in watching this horror-spiral, I've been guilty of speaking about "LiLo" in a mocking tone on more than one occasion. So when her Playboy Cover leaked yesterday, you bet your ass I was right there hungrily researching for something to share with you.
But what I found was an increasingly bad taste in my mouth as I read posts ranging from (mostly) innocent snark, a'la yeaaah.com:
"Well, of course Lindsay Lohan’s Playboy cover leaks. It probably has a foul-smelling discharge, too. If you want the authentic Lindsay Lohan experience, Hugh made sure to cover all your bases."
"Marilyn Monroe was a pretty well-documented whore, but that's about where Lindsay Lohan's and her similarities stop. If Lindsay wants to overdose on barbiturates like her idol, that's cool too. I just really hope she doesn't wait til she's 36.."
Woah dude. Kind of a bit much, don't you think? That is an actual human you're talking about.
"I spent years hoping for a Lohan comeback, waiting for her to emerge from her legal and substance-abuse troubles and land an acclaimed role — and respect — via an indie film, or a notable director’s passion project. But, following theft allegations, several arrests, and her inability to hold onto a role (hello Inferno!), it seems less and less likely that we’ll ever see her reemerge as an in-demand, A-list movie star. She still could, however, reemerge as an in-demand, D-list star."
Ward goes on to warn:
"Of course, it’s up to Lohan to make this type of career a plausible one. And it requires a personality trait that the actress could very well lack: Self-awareness. (After all, Lohan was still talking about her Oscars future this past April on Leno.)"
That last bit just about breaks my heart. Oh Lindsay...how could we have let this happen to you? Why couldn't you have listened to Tina Fey? And why do we take such pleasure in tearing others down, Earth?
I'll admit it. I feel for the girl. I mean, the day her hotly anticipated Playboy cover leaks, Star Magazine also claims to have unearthed her long-lost secret diary? Either the universe is NOT on her side, or she has really really desperate PR folk. BlogHer's own Anything Hollywood surmises that it's probably the latter, and I hope they're right:
"Hollywood rumors are alleging that the newly-minted Playboy model penned some secret memoirs where she poured her heart out about her love for the Australian actor, particularly during the dark days when he was found dead of a fatal combination of prescription medication in 2008….
'Today Heath died,'... 'I’m in love with him…. He was the love of my life. He taught me so much, and he was everything I’ve ever wanted and more.'"
I hope for Lindsay's sake that diary's a fake. Because if it's not, just...ouch. It's a horror show, and I can't stop watching. But I'm not laughing, anymore Lindsay. Now I'm just terrified for you.
What do you think? Are you blissfully ignorant of this speeding trainwreck, or can you not look away?