I'm Not the Evil Stepmother: 8 Things I Wish My Stepchildren Knew

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1. I’m not going anywhere. I married your dad because I am in love with him. I’m in this for life! This is what I chose. It didn’t matter to me that he had a life before me, that he was married before, that he had children. You are a part of his life and I love every part of his life. So guess what? I love you, too! And I’m in the long haul for you, too. I’ll always be here for you.

2. I don’t want to replace your momma, ever, ever, ever. Good or bad, we all have a momma. Your momma carried you for nine months, gave birth to you, and is your momma period. I am not here to pretend I’m a hero woman coming in and swooping you up into my mothering. I am just an extra person on hand who loves you and who will be in your life for a VERY long time. You are my family and honestly, your momma is my family because without her, there’d be no you. As your stepmother, I’ve got your best interests in my heart. As a woman, God created me to be gentle, loving, nurturing. So if it comes off that I’m being too parental for your liking, it’s just my love for you and my wish to take care of you. Even though you may not like it, I’m one of many adults who loves you and wants the best for you. But please take comfort that while I will express my own opinions, and often co-parent with your dad, he and I are one, and I will rely a whole lot on his decisions for you and the decisions that he and your mother make for you. I accept completely that you’ve got two parents and if they are willing to get along for your sake, I’m perfectly great with that. Remember, you’ve got a great dad, and I know you have a momma, but please see #1 if there are any questions or concerns about my role in all of this.

Not the Evil Stepmother
Credit: jeffchristiansen.

3. Please don’t be so mean. Bullying is bullying no matter the age. I have feelings, too. I also have a heart, and it’s open to you. I want for us to get along, but sometimes, you really hurt my feelings. I am not here to fight with you or hurt you, so I’d love the same respect. This is a tricky time for all of us. We’re just trying to find our place in our new family. If you are hearing things that bother you, such as I am stealing your father from you or that I am trying to replace your mom, please, please know that you can come and talk to me about it. If there are any doubts, please see #1 and #2.

4. You will never be left behind. As long as you want to be a family, we’re going to be a family. That’s all I want. Your dad is so stressed out trying to make sure you don’t feel left out and he’s trying his best to make sure you and I are both comfortable and confident in our new journey together. I want the same. Whether you live with us full time, part-time, summertime, etc, you are an important part of this family. Your dad would never dream of leaving you in his past. You don’t belong there! So please come on this journey with him, but hang on, it’s going to be one heck of a ride! This won’t be easy. We’re bound to sometimes lose our tempers, or feel angry, but we’re a family, and families just stick together no matter what! If you have any concerns, please see #1, #2, and #3.


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