A Little Frump to Balance Out the Sexy
Some days I go to the gym in the morning and I see myself in the mirror with my ever closer knobby knees and my thinner physique and the way my shirt hangs on my shoulders and I think, "I'm looking pretty dang good". I'm looking "sporty".
And then there are days like today.
Now, before I continue, I should say that this week I'm feeling a bit bloated. I've been eating a lot of high salt foods that have been very tasty, but not so great on the bloating scene. My rings were tight yesterday which rarely happens. However, I just let that go. I'm not looking at the scale. I'm aware that my eating is not awesome, but nor is it gaining weight. I'm exercising and just kinda going with the flow that I'm a bit rounder this week. This morning at the gym for a pathetic excuse at the kettlebells and a decent workout on the stationary bike for 25 minutes, I saw my bulging stomach and flabby parts, but was okay with it. I'm doing well and there are times I look better and times I don't.
Life was okay until I joined tonight's cardio class at the gym. The class itself was great. It was a bit like doing Jillian Michels for an hour and I felt pretty dang okay doing it. Some things were harder. Some things were wobbly. Some things I couldn't quite do, but overall, I felt like it was a pretty good challenge.
The thing was that my image in the mirror was very frumpy and lumpy. I was a bit surprised - I didn't look that horrid this morning! I was wearing my new favorite t-shirt and the shorts that I think make me look better, but tonight in the mirror, I could see my stomach rolls jutting out and my butt and legs were all over the place. My hairband just plastered my hair down and I looked like a big June bug with a tiny head.
The instructor was like super fit and super thin.
The comparison was like a professionally decorated cake and one that my kid decorates (I'm the kid decorated cake).
Alas. I'm not really upset, but I was a bit bummed out that I didn't like seeing my image in the mirror. I've gotten used to thinking I look okay working out.
It's no fun to compare oneself to others which is what I caught myself doing tonight.
The class itself, though, I enjoyed. I felt a bit dang proud that I could just come in from out of the blue and complete the class without ever feeling like I need to pretend to get an important phone call requiring I leave immediately. That was a good feeling and a genuine confidence booster.
Tomorrow, I plan to sleep in (till seven when the kids wake up!). I did okay today.