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Did you know that there are 579, 102 restaurants in the U.S.? There are around 2, 000 where I live (in Austin) alone. I bring this up because I have been thinking a lot about choice. Specifically, too much choice.
In our house trying decide where to go out to eat inevitably turns into a comically and frustratingly drawn out procedure. My husband will throw out suggestion after suggestion as I turn them down for one reason or another: "That one’s too big." "I’m not in the mood for Thai." "We just ate there." It’s like I’m the Goldilocks of restaurants. I'll eventually make a decision, all the while wondering if there was a better choice.
This indecision extends into more important areas of my life, as well. I currently stay home with my daughter, but I am always weighing my options. On one hand, I love the time I am able to spend with her and I feel like I would miss it horribly should I go back to work. On the other hand, there would be many benefits to me working. I know that I am very lucky in that I am able to even have a choice in the matter, but the fact is- I am conflicted.
One of the benefits of life in a wealthy, “first world” country is that we are blessed with what seems like an infinite amount of choice. Take a walk down the condiment aisle in your local grocery store, peruse the the myriad of jog strollers at Babies R Us, or deliberate all the different paths you can take in your life. All this choice can be liberating, but it can also be maddening.
There has been much written on this subject in recent years. Professor Hazel Rose Markus (Stanford University's Department of Psychology) the author of a study on the effects of choice had this to say on the topic: "Even in contexts where choice can foster freedom, empowerment, and independence, it is not an unalloyed good. Choice can also produce a numbing uncertainty, depression, and selfishness." Trying to decide between strollers is one thing, but narrowing down options on the big life decisions is quite another.
Elizabeth Gilbert expressed the frustration of this indecision beautifully in her book, “Committed: A Love Story”: “All these choices and all this longing can create a weird kind of haunting in our lives-as though the ghosts of all our other, unchosen, possibilities linger forever in a shadow world around us, continuously asking, “Are you certain this is what you really wanted?” I remember reading this and thinking, “Wow, you nailed it!”
Being a parent brings in a whole new set of questions and choices. Now I am not just making choices for myself, I have our daughter to consider. How do I know that they are the right decisions? Will this choice be in her best interest? Take any parenting issue (discipline, diet, praising, etc) and you're likely to get as many ways to approach it as people you ask. There is just so much information out there. Talk about crazy-making! Every parent faces the same dilemma at one time or another.
I am slowly learning that I need to just follow my intuition-go with my gut and hope for the best. At some point you need to stop all the deliberating and just take the plunge, right?
Resources:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/7044550/Too-much-choice-lea...
"Committed: A Love Story" - Elizabeth Gilbert
momopins.com
