Living An Authentic Life
By womenonthefence on November 02, 2009
When deciding what to title today’s Blog post, I changed my mind about six times. “‘Living An Authentic Life’ sounded too Oprah,” I thought. But, truly, it’s what felt best. So, the pardon the title if it feels too familiar.
So how do we live an authentic life? How do we live a life just and true? I figure we have a limited number of years on this earth, so we may as well live it as authentically as possible and on our own terms, right?
Why I chose this topic is because I have been very fascinated with Chaz Bono’s story (formerly Chastity Bono), the only child of Sonny Bono and Cher, who recently underwent a female-to-male sex change.
“I always felt like the male from the time I was a child. There wasn’t much feminine about me,” Chaz says. “I believe that gender is something between your ears, not between your legs. That is something I discovered in the early ’90s. It was just a long process of being comfortable enough to do something about it. I was turning 40 and I thought it’s now or never. I want to still feel vibrant and be able to enjoy my life in a male body and not wait until I am an old man.” Chaz Bono.
And while Chaz seems more than thrilled to have transitioned over to a man, one can only imagine the pain he experienced through the years. Despite the advancements society has made in overcoming the social stigma of homosexuality, we still have ways to go. Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror as a woman, and feeling god made you the wrong sex. That god made a mistake. Imagine feeling you wanted to cut off your breasts and grow a penis. Seriously. Imagine the inner conflict. I feel very happy for Chaz that he is finally living his truth, and the way that feels comfortable for him.
Now this is just one example of living an authentic life. Imagine Obama. Imagine his inner struggle every day to live his truth. Trying to lead a country with an entourage of advisers advising him “the politically correct” thing to do. Imagine his conflict between what he is SUPPOSED to do for the betterment of this country, and what he really WANTS to do.
More examples: what if you hate your job? What if you have to put a smile on your face daily for your boss, when inside you’re dying?
What if you’re living beyond your means to “Keep up with the Joneses?”
What if you are a gambling addict and are hiding it from your family?
What if you are a spendaholic or shopaholic, and no one knows?
Living a lie is no easy life.
So, forget about the past. Forget about yesterday. Today is the first day of your authentic life. Perhaps these tips will help you live your truth. No more lies ladies.
- Be true to yourself. Do what’s good for you. Don’t concern yourself with other people’s opinions of you. This may be difficult if you are a pleaser, but it is a complete waste of your time and energy. Let it go!
- Do what you love, and love what you do. Search for what makes you happy. We all have responsibilities and obligations that weigh us down. This is a part of life. But try and take the time to do what makes you joyful. Even if you are currently stuck in an unhappy marriage, and you’re not ready to make a move, or you’re at a job you hate, and just haven’t found the right one yet, balance all of this with activities you love… jogging, coffee with friends, hiking, whatever.
- Find your passion! What’s the one thing you always wanted to do, but never actually did. I have wanted to paint for years. I used to when I was younger. I wasn’t half bad either, minus my cars. My cars in those landscape scenes were pathetic! But that’s not the point! The point is, I need to find the time to enroll in another painting course. I’m trying.
- Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What’s holding you back? Only once we face our fears can we be free of them. I promise you, you won’t believe how authentic your life will become once you just jump right into the unknown and test your strength. Most women I know are very strong and resilient.
- Finally, find spirituality. Many of us are trained to think in a scientific way. We believe in what we can see, touch and feel. But, if you believe in a higher power, or that this earth will support you no matter what, you may start to break away from bad habits and start living a life of truth.
So ladies, I wish for each and every one of us to find our true calling in life and uncover our true passion. Every one of us deserves happiness. So stop living the lie, and make a choice that today is the day you will begin living your truth.
Thank you for reading.
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