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I don't know about your husband but in the rare event that my hubby cooks, everything is cooked on high! He seems to be unaware that any other settings exist on our stove. Although, I have informed him of the existence of both medium and low settings, he continues to cook on high. This has lead to a few pans being destroyed and/or toxic fumes from the Teflon coating being released. No need to mention the food burnt on the outside and raw inside...I have Pizza Hut's phone number memorized...just in case.
Anyway, I thought confining his cooking to the outside grill would be safer. Then I began to notice that a 20 pound bag of charcoal and a quart of starter fluid lasted for exactly two cookouts. Again, a facet of his "faster-higher-more-is-better" outlook. I suppose that in his mind, something about the flames shooting 20 feet into the air screams "Hell yeah! A cookout! Hand me a beer!" Yet, I kept my silence and my distance whenever he was starting the grill. And never once did I remark about frizzled or missing eyebrows or the singed hair on his arms.
Then one day this fire safety challenged man decided he wanted a gas grill. Oh great, I thought, he's gonna blow something up ! But, I merely said, "I'll miss the starter fluid laced burgers if you switch to a gas grill."
Truthfully things went pretty well for the first two years that he owned the gas grill. Then one day recently I walked out back and he was holding his Bic lighter near the gas jets trying to get the grill lit. Apparently some of the jets are now clogged, rendering the auto-ignite useless. "That's not a good idea." I said, as I headed back in to the safety of the house. About five minutes later, not hearing an explosion, I peeked out the back door just in time to see him walking from the shed carrying a flame thrower! Well, not an actual flame thrower but a propane torch. Obviously with the valve completely opened, since the flame looked to be a foot long! Again, his faster-higher-more-is-better mentality! I dared to voice my opinion. "You're gonna blow up the grill, especially with all the lingering gas from your failed attempts at lighting the damn thing.' He got kind of crabby about my remarks so I went back into the house...it was then that I realized that if he blew up the grill, more than likely the back of the house would be included in the explosion. So, I gathered the kids and told them to stay near the front door. In the event of an explosion they were to run across the street to Miss Judy's house and call 911! With the evacuation plan in place, I stood with them. And then my mind jumped back to last year when my hubby accidently set the back yard on fire and I knew I had better call the fire department to see if I can enroll him in a fire safety course. Wouldn't hurt! Maybe he likes living dangerously but I don't.
