Living on the Slow Train
Do you know where I live? On the slow train! SA-LOWWW TRAAA-IN!
And, no, I’m not happy about this.
Whenever I want something, I want it NOW. And, usually, I get exactly what I want. (Yay for all of that training as the baby of the family. Yay for being an adult and the ability to control your environment.) When I don’t get what I want, I become very confused. And mad. And pouty. It’s not pretty.
In the four months since Climb Out of The Cubicle became a live business, things have gone well. Things are slow, but I’m making great progress. But, starting a business is hard work. It’s takes a lot of time, dedication, and sweat equity. Sometimes, it’s tedious. Other times, it’s incredibly frustrating. And, all the time, it’s a SLOW process. I think I was prepared for all of this, except for the slow process part. When you look at other people, you don’t see their struggle. You see their success.
Lately, I’ve been struggling a lot with jealousy. Now, just to be clear, I’m not one of those girls who wishes she looked amazing in a bikini, and I’m not crying at night because I’m not a member of Mensa. I rarely get jealous, so I honestly don’t know how to handle this kind of illogical emotion.
But, alas, this dang emotion has found me. I’ve been comparing my business to others’ businesses and their progress. I’m jealous that people have more time and more money to spend on their websites. I’m jealous that other people’s creative minds work at a more rapid pace than mine. I’m jealous that I didn’t think of a brilliant idea first…and, of course, now feels like stealing. I’m jealous that some people live in a canoe, where there are two people paddling. Whereas, I live in a kayak….on an island. Eating kit-kats.
I know my business is still in infancy. I mean, if it were a real baby, it would just now be old enough to be shipped off to daycare. And I know that can’t compare myself to others. Instead, I need to put in the work; I need to create the space to allow positive things to come my way, but it’s a struggle. A big time struggle.
Have you ever struggled with jealousy? Share your experiences in the comments.