Is Living Together A Bad Idea
By Yemanya on March 19, 2011
Is Living Together A Bad Idea?
Are you asking if living together is a bad idea compared to getting married then living together?
Is living together a bad idea if you are very young, e.g. under 20?
Is living together a bad idea when you are older and you each have a lifetime’s collection of goods, chattels and property?
Is living together a bad idea if your friends and family don’t like who you are living with?
So many questions, all relevant in some way.
Living together may seem like a great idea when you are in the early, passionate stages of a relationship, but what happens when you move into the next, more settled, phase of your relationship?
Lust and passionate sex are big players in new relationships, friendship and commitment take longer to develop and mature. I guess it depends on what you are looking for when you decide to move in with someone / or let another person move into your space.
If you are of the easy come easy go persuasion go right ahead, live together, just be ready to separate when you wake up and realise that all you have in common is a liking for a good night out followed by a burst of passion.
If you are looking for something that will last a bit longer then don’t live together until you have had time to get to know each other. Marriage vows have been around for a very long time and say that you will love and honour each other through sickness and health, good times and bad times etc., etc., for a very good reason. Living together requires tolerance, acceptance and commitment so it really does help if you are friends as well as lovers.
It helps if you are on the same page in regard to finance, sharing chores, holidays, time with each other’s friends and family, children. It helps if you can discuss these things and others like politics and religion without arguing, it helps if your friends and family get along with your partner.
You may believe in love at first sight, I think it happens once in a blue moon. Lust at first sight happens all the time! Even if you believe that you have fallen in love at first sight will it hurt to take your time planning your new life together?
Is living together a bad idea? Yes, if you move in together before you really know each other. A higher percentage of ‘living together’ couples than married couples split up.
You owe it to yourself and any children you may have to be sure that the person you are choosing to live with is the loving committed person that you want to be the father or mother of your children and that they will still be the person you will want to spend your time with when you are 80.
Putting life into living.
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