The Lizard That Got Away
Before I started blogging, I would send eMails that recapped funny experiences to my family and friends. My mentor professor told me she saved these in a folder, in the hopes I would write a book about desperate schoolteachers.
When the blog was underway, my friend Ann said to be sure to write about the lizard. She said it was the funniest story ever. In the history of school anecdotes, this one, she maintained, was the best.
My dad was always on my senders' list and he loved my stories. He would write back and say that he had to go retrieve his liver or some other organ that popped out while he was reading, especially, the one about the lizard. My sister remembers the lizard story too, but no details. She does recall that, if my dad still had his spleen, he would have ruptured it when they discussed, by phone, the one about the lizard.
My dad lost his spleen during a high school football injury. It is a good family story, complete with a huge scar and lots of gory details. The fact that the revered spleen is brought up in conjunction with the lizard story only adds to the credibility of its hilarity.
I eMailed my mentor professor again, to ask her about the lizard story. I asked her if she had saved it. She replied back a few days later that the giant SMACKING sound I might have heard was her head hitting the keyboard as she realized, out of all my school-related stories, she did NOT have the best one - the one about the lizard.
The lizard kids are in high school now. I doubt they remember although a quick message on Facebook might dig up something. All that I recall is that the lizard was a large and fat alligator lizard. He hung out under the bushes along a walkway we had to use to go to lunch. Each day there were lizard shenanigans. One day the kids responded in such a way that I had to write it down. I recall most of them being belly-down on the sidewalk and some hilarious kid-conversation ensued and I laughed all the way to the cafeteria. Then I wrote it down. But I didn't save it.
Somewhere, in time and space, is that story. The one about the lizard.
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By Velvet S.