Lonely Mom Seeks Friends

Crikket So many moms find motherhood so isolating. Now that I'm a WAHM instead of working outside the home, I feel weirdly disconnected. I didn't realize how much energy I get from other people.

Crikket I do understand what you mean by having a teen and being lonely. I have been at this Stay at home mom thing for 18 years now. I have very few friends and it is truly hard to have or make friendships in this little town in Wyoming. I have to change myself more in order to function in real life. I am suspicious now of everyone, because I feel like my lack of friendships, there is something wrong with me. Truly there was something wrong with me - I was not willing to go out and make a friend. I thought the dutiful wife and mother was about all that I had in life and finally I am realizing that I am worthy of more. And this basic concept is all about a true friend. I do have a couple of friends, but there is still not one that I can call up on a spontanious moment and say - you wanna go to the park, or have coffee? I have always thought it was me. And it probably is to some degree. When my son (I was blessed with only one child) was really little I thought I had made a friend. She had a miscarrage and I took her some flowers, brought her dinner, called her up several times and we talked about her loss for quite sometime. We talked for about a month or so everyday on the phone. She finally told me "I really dont have the time every day for you to be calling me and me sitting here chatting with you on the phone". I was flabbergasted. I cried for days. I felt hurt. The next friend that I had thought I was a friend with, only called me when she needed something. She has had 5 deaths in several years and each time there was a death, she would call me to clean the families house - and never pay me... then she asked me to do a job for her. I was excited. My son was old enough to hang out during the summer by himself, so I took her up on it. When it came time for her to pay me she shortened me $2400. Wow. She said she would not pay me what she promised because what she did pay me was good money for a stay at home mom.... what a nice friend. So I do feel jilted by my so called friendships that I have made. The past 6 months I have found a job and I am really liking all the people I have met. I feel like I do have a new lease on life. I would suggest to you that since you are in the family way, maybe a little daycare on the side might help you out. I watched a few peoples children and my son was able to have fun and I made a little money on the side. It helped me get to know a couple of people with children. The idea of putting a playgroup on craigs list is a great idea but I would start it off in the park not at your home just in case you have a few weirdos, It might be a great way to meet other lonely moms. I also even resorted to calling 1 800 numbers so that I would be able to listen to someone talk. That is lonely. I even called evangelical prayer lines just to talk to someone. That is super lonely. Church was not a solice to me because it was very clicky there too. There was one bunch of ladies that would just love to talk behind each others backs all day long and when I came along - I found out the nice biblicial way - I found out that they were talking about me for months.... and they wonder why I never came back? One of the ladies I saw the other day - she lives down the block from me - she said - we need to go to lunch someday - like she has said for the past 20 years and she has never gone to lunch with me - nor has she ever even called me to ask me to lunch. She has however asked me to watch her son night and day for 10 days while she was dealing with a family member that was dying. But when my mom passed away - she was not able to reciprocate and keep an eye out for my son... not that he could not stay at home by himself for a few days.... but she should of been able to be called in case of an emergency... but she even said no to that.... So - I understand... believe me, I understand. Please do yourself a favor and keep blogging. Keep trying to understand that if you have 1 or 2 good friends in life, you do have more that a lot of people. Some people are the go getters - I have 670 friends on facebook... some that I have only met one time in my life, but they know everything about me and my relationship with my cat... there are others that have a couple family members and 2 friends and that is ok. I was always told you have to be a friend to make a friend... I have tried. I have. I have but for right now - I have to be a friend to myself and learn how to like me... somedays it is really hard... but the next step is to put a smile on your face. Say hi to stangers. One of them might just be your next best friend... or Jesus... take care. good thoughts coming your way.