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Really Local.
15 miles is the general distance between where I live - North Hollywood in the San Fernando Valley - and Santa Monica on the west side of Los Angeles. Would I date someone who lives in Santa Monica? Uh... Yeah... OK, it's possible, but it's like -20 to geographical desirability.
You've heard we've got wicked bad traffic here, right?
I mean, I've been sitting on an eHarmony request for communication for a week because he's cute, and he's young, and he made me laugh... but he lives in a city I had to look up on Mapquest. I mean, years ago when gas prices jumped, I stopped going to things on the westside unless they were really, really great, and like, every once in a while. And gas prices never went down. And neither did the traffic.
I kinda want to see a boyfriend more than every once in a while.
So I LOL'd at this column on Slate: Date Local: The case against long-distance relationships by Barron YoungSmith (h/t Feministing). (Dude, is that a name combine without a hyphen? That's bloody brilliant! Excellent use of intercaps!) I think it reads a little tongue in cheek, but I have to be honest with you, there's no way I'm dating outside of L.A., much less outside of California.
And this is besides the fact that I have a friend who met her husband from across the country on eHarmony. Their first meeting was in Vegas, and now she's married and lives on the other coast. Total Long Distance Success.
To which I say: Yay for Love! But No Way. Not for me.
And you know I'm a crazy romantic, right? But, long distance just doesn't make sense to me. Too many gray areas. Not enough sex.
And affection.
How can you possibly know anything when you never see the person?
Now, I have to admit, I have a really good reason to only date people in L.A. And, it actually has nothing to do with gas, or with time. And only a little bit to do with sex.
See, the thing is, it took me over 30 years to get here. And not only am I not going anywhere, but there is nowhere else on the earth that I could be. So challenging L.A. dating scene aside, the guy for me? He lives in L.A.
One interesting thing from the Slate article, Date Local, was the excitement factor in long-distance relationships. The drama! The being apart! The being together! The it's-been-so-long sex!
I wonder if this is similar to people who love first dates and first kisses and all that beginning of the relationship stuff that I can't possibly comprehend how anyone thinks *that's* better than like a one-year anniversary. When I'm comfortable and we really know each other, and regularly see each other in any given week, that's what brings the heat. Drama and uncertainty? Weeks apart? Not so much.
So, Date Local? I'm Down.
How about you?
~
Linky Goodness:
Date Local—& Other Ephemeric* Friday Aftenoon Links - Elizabeth from Ladyblog wonders if LDR-offsets are in order?
Is my relationship killing the planet? - Tracy Clark-Flory responds on Salon. She's not feeling the love for the Slate take.
Next week: Why the bus is more romantic than the car on dates - from Amanda on Pandagon, a feminist, more pragmatic perspective.
~
Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.
