Look Who's Talkin'

Have you ever been around someone who talked too much?  Too fast?  Too detailed? Too private?  Too ___________ (fill in your own experience)?

 

I have.  And I don't really like it.  Sometimes it's funny for a bit or interesting at first.  But usually, at some point during their one-sided conversation, I start thinking about how it's humanly possible for one person to talk so much or so fast, or about how I wish they would just stop because this is something that I so do not need to know. 

 

Where is their stop button, or a slow-down option, or their filter, for heaven's sake?!  Why don't they have one?!

 

It's funny because I have spent most of my life wishing that I was more outgoing.  Too shy to speak up in class or to say hi to someone who could have been my friend.  And I am now amazing myself by how I've grown and been able to function better in a group or speak up when I felt I needed too.  I am shocked that I am able to stand up in front of an adult audience and present, and even more astonished that I look forward to those opportunities. 

 

But oftentimes, I remain silent.  The times that I should speak up, I don't.  Things I want to say stay left unsaid.  Sometimes I bottle them inside and verbal fizz spews out if I get shaken too hard.  Usually my husband is the one left soaking in spilled sentences and pent-up paragraphs.  I have gotten better about that over the years too, but I know it's still an issue I have to constantly work on avoiding.

 

Tonight was a night that got me thinking about it again.  Jason and I are attending a marriage class/Bible study at our church.  In my usual form, I stay silent through the whole thing.  I just soak it in and fight back too much expression.  I can joke, but I don't get too emotional or serious.  Never in front of that large of a group. 

 

Jason, on the other hand, leads the prayer session, speaks up, and shares a lot.  He is the verbal to my nonverbal, the chatter to the box I hide inside.  But he's not any of the types that I named above.  He is just friendly, outgoing, approachable, and sincere. 

 

He knows the way I am and loves me anyway.  He doesn't pester me about participating more.  And I am happy about that.  But we did talk tonight about how I don't talk to him enough.  I do the same thing to my husband that I do with everyone else. 

 

One of my greatest fears is that, as a wife, I would nag too much.  That I would become critical or whiny.  It makes me shudder to think of my voice becoming as nails on a chalkboard to the ones I love.  I think of the Proverbs about the nagging wife.  Ugghh.  So, I stay silent.  Even when I should speak.  Even when my husband feels like our relationship is backwards and that he has a wife who acts "more like a man" (to use a huge, but widely recognized, stereotype) when it comes to talking and sharing feelings.  He shares way more than I do.  I use my counseling skills and listen.  I occasionally give advice, but I rarely reciprocate.  I told him tonight that I would rather type a million words to strangers about the emotional, blubbering mess that I am than ever share with or cry with anyone in person.  I think he sniggered.

 

I'm going to work on that this month.  Whether or not, I share more with friends or acquaintances, I am going to share more with my husband.  Whew.  Lets hope my sharing doesn't turn to whining and my speaking up doesn't turn to nagging!!

ADD A COMMENT

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Recent Posts by Nicolina

Menu