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If there is one section of the bookstore that is foreign to me it is the self-help section - particularly the books that deal with romance and relationships. With Valentine's Day looming on the horizon I'm seeing more books about love and how to find it make their way into my blog feeds. The closest I've come in recent years is reading Beth Lisick's Helping Me Help Myself, in which the author spends a year tackling a new self-help philosophy every month. Looking at the Amazon sales rank of books that give you the down-low on relationships shows that people are buying them in droves. But what are they saying about them?
Comedian Steve Harvey's relationship book, Think Like a Lady, Act Like a Man isn't out yet and it's still currently the number one best seller in the love and romance section. He's been promoting it on his morning radio show and Jaded Radiance is liking what she's been hearing.
In an effort to promote his new book Harvey's been sharing some of his words of wisdom on air. The other day he shared this rule:
In the beginning of the relationship never tell a guy what you want because that's exactly what you'll get- what you want. It'll be weeks before they get tired of that and start showing their true colors.
He's Just Not that Into You by Greg Behnart and Liz Tuccillo seems like the type of book me and my university roommates would have bought for each other if it had been around. (We settled for Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man...you know, before it all hit the pages of Cosmo.) With a movie coming out soon based on it, the book is oneveryone's lips, and blogs, again. The Modern Maven didn't think too much of the book.
At the time, I felt that this self-help book overstated the obvious and simply did not provide the reader (the target audience being single women because I truly believe the majority of men don't pick up self help books, and, might I strongly state, that many men should check out this literary genre because so many are socially inept) with insight regarding how to improve their current dating mode of operation. Although I do not disagree with Mr. Behrendt's premise that if a gentleman is not calling or pursuing a woman that he is not interested in moving a relationship forward, what I do find worthless is that Mr. Behrendt offers no suggestions on how a women should improve herself in order to find the love she seeks.
But The Front Porch feels like there is wisdom in the book.
Here I was reading all these apparent myths I have held onto for years about guys and the way they interact with women and the [vain] hope I’ve been holding out for them all along.
[...]
I’ve done the pining for the guy for almost a decade of friendship hoping that his platonic will turn romantic; I’ve actually been told that I’m probably intimidating to guys so I’ve definitely tried to help the guy out a little; I’ve hung in there while he sorts out the life waiting until he’s ready to start dating knowing that I’ll be the first he’ll call…
The Daily Blonde gives Charles J. Orlando's The Problem With Women...Is Men her thumbs up.
I don't want to hear one more woman say, "Ugh, my husband is just a slob...totally gross. He still thinks farting contests are fun. No wonder I go to sleep before he does. I just am losing my attraction." Hand him a copy of "The Problem With Women...Is Men" and then tell him you'll read it together. Women have their issues, too...but I think we're more open to changing ourselves. Sometimes it takes a guy to help a guy. Male bonding in a book. How's that for fantastic?
On my travels around the blogosphere I found people talking about why they love, or don't love, self-help books. Nicole Oullette admits to secretly reading, publicly dissing and then using information from Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.
But I think a lot of us buy these books in hurried exchanges at our local bookstore (or even more anonymously order them online) because it is very human to want to be better people. And knowing more is helpful because we can't all go to school forever to become doctors, therapists, personal trainers, financial consultants, or life coaches. We do have time though to read
