The lost girl in the middle-aged woman
I am lost in middle age. I am stuck between aging parents, college age children, not quite empty nester couple, and post menopause. I am tired of being everything to everybody. I can't find a flow to work within. I don't know where to place my energies so I can move forward. I move forward a few steps, then I'm stuck again. I feel like I am waiting a lot for things to happen. So I go to my room and watch NCIS or Jeopardy taped shows. Or I end up at the computer glancing at Facebook. Or I blog on this website. Watching TV is my way of avoiding confrontations. Blogging is therapeutic most of the time. And Facebook is mostly a waste of time. I glance out on Facebook to see what is going on and it looks like people are happier in their pictures and funnier with their one liners than I am. As Betty White so eloquently said on the Mother's Day 2010 SNL "It looks like a big waste of time". She is probably right. I've dabbled in Facebook for almost one year. I have made a few interesting lost connections. But overall it is the high school reunion party that I've spent too long trying to make a connection out of something that wasn't there in the first place. Where is my life heading in mid-life? Blogging is helping me get out my feelings I have kept locked inside for many years. When I graduated from college and started a career, it was a difficult and exciting transition of my life. But I was able to regroup and eventually I move forward. But in mid life the road map is strewn with family members and co-workers feelings and issues. I am trying to be respectful of their perspectives but mine are getting lost in the shuffle. How can I respect you if you don't respect me? How can I connect with you if you don't connect with me? How can I move forward if the road is dotted with YIELD and STOP and GO and CAUTION. There is a famous Dilbert line that is my Mantra "Let me drop everything I am doing to help you with your problem". Now where was I?.