The lost girl in the middle-aged woman

I am lost in middle age. I am stuck between aging parents, college age children, not quite empty nester couple, and post menopause. I am tired of being everything to everybody. I can't find a flow to work within. I don't know where to place my energies so I can move forward. I move forward a few steps, then I'm stuck again. I feel like I am waiting a lot for things to happen. So I go to my room and watch NCIS or Jeopardy taped shows.  Or I end up at the computer glancing at Facebook. Or I blog on this website. Watching TV is my way of avoiding confrontations. Blogging is therapeutic most of the time. And Facebook is mostly a waste of time. I glance out on Facebook to see what is going on and it looks like people are happier in their pictures and funnier with their one liners than I am.  As Betty White so eloquently said on the Mother's Day 2010 SNL "It looks like a big waste of time". She is probably right. I've dabbled in Facebook for almost one year. I have made a few interesting lost connections. But overall it is the high school reunion party that I've spent too long trying to make a connection out of something that wasn't there in the first place. Where is my life heading in mid-life? Blogging is helping me get out my feelings I have kept locked inside for many years. When I graduated from college and started a career, it was a difficult and exciting transition of my life. But I was able to regroup and eventually I move forward. But in mid life the road map is strewn with family members and co-workers feelings and issues. I am trying to be respectful of their perspectives but mine are getting lost in the shuffle. How can I respect you if you don't respect me? How can I connect with you if you don't connect with me? How can I move forward if the road is dotted with YIELD and STOP and GO and CAUTION. There is a famous Dilbert line that is my Mantra "Let me drop everything I am doing to help you with your problem". Now where was I?.

Patty

Comments

In order to comment on BlogHer.com, you'll need to be logged in. You'll be given the option to log in or create an account when you publish your comment. If you do not log in or create an account, your comment will not be displayed.

Recent Posts by the patty beat