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Yesterday, besides personal meltdown about turning 25 and not being anywhere near where I wanted to be, I had a nice and lazy day, though not too lazy and full of cleaning. The blogosphere was slow and boring, making me want to spam like crazy and not spam. What was my personal meltdown about you may ask? Hubby still being in school, supporting my family, still being childless while even my younger sister (who I don’t speak to but stalk online sorry I’m sad) who is a dropout and working retail is planning a family, my mother who lives with her mom and has her take care of her and support her while I struggle alone, seeing other families blossoming while we struggle to build a foundation for our the future without debt and with careers, still living in Oklahoma, etc. It was big, messy, and horrible for someone who hardly cries. I have battled with depression, and sometimes it just hits me like a ton of bricks and I have to be a snotty mess to get over it.
Happier things. Pepsi Throwback and Mexican soda made with cane sugar fills my heart with gladness. Being home does, too.
School wise I confronted the not my boss administrator about not being my boss and treating me like such, she continued to be abrasive and rude. *sigh* I am just going to have to tell her look, I defended you and tried to be nice to you out of respect and you have taken advantage of that (she wanted me to send out e-mails for her today when I went to tell her about a speaker I set up). Oh well.
In happier school news, I came up with an excellent discipline plan today that WORKED! I told several of the boys in my all boy class from hell that this week I would let them teach the class and I would act like them. Today I picked one of my rowdiest kids. I acted like him while he played me, ala Educating Esme, only much more hardcore. The science teacher they make fun of who is a former bouncer sat in and laughed and laughed. The first 15 minutes was hilarious. Then things started to settle and they started getting used to him being Miss. After about 20 minutes he looked like he was going to crack with all of the people calling for help, the noise level, the disrespect. At one point that I was acting up he looked at me with pleading eyes begging me to stop and save him. At the end of the period, he stayed after to talk about what he learned. He apologized for how he behaved, wanted to know if he was really as bad as I portrayed him, said he was going to tell the other boys that they should not want to be me because it was hard. “Miss, how do you handle trying to help someone and having 5 people screaming Miss, one person you know needs help but is like sleeping, a couple more not paying attention, and a group all talking at once? I thought I could do it for like the first fifteen minutes, and then I just wanted to give it back to you but I thought the other boys would make fun of me. That was really hard Miss, I’m really sorry about all I’ve done, and I’m going to try to get the rest of them to behave better, too, from now on.”
Wow.
That’s all I got to say about that.
My Mcfatty note for the day: I am back down to my lowest weight since before Christmas when I started then slacked on the exercise routine: 5′4″ and 175 lbs. I am so proud of myself fitting back into my size 12s without bruising. I still have a way to go, but I am so proud of how far I have come.
Anyone else struggling with weight? What do you do when the world feels like it’s closing in? Suggestions on dealing with an unappreciative coworker that is higher rank than you but not your boss? Any comments on my crazy methods of getting through to students?
Come to the dark side we have cookies. Fallingfromprams.wordpress.com
