Love Story of a Mom
I've been falling in love lately. Something about the promise of spring, not quiet here yet, not even close really, but instead just out of reach. Hope.
It's not my husband I've been falling in love with. We're comfortable in the ebb and flow of married life. The bouncing from romance to sick days with little ones; from friendship to tag team parenting. Some days we're in sync and some days we're just passing by one another between practices, lunch bags, meetings, and bedtime stories. We're ok with it.
I've been falling in love with someone else. Someone who romances me with endless kisses. Who charms me with a laugh and a tease thrown my way. Who snuggles into me in the quiet and fills it with talk of his day, his thoughts, his life.
Two someones, really.
I've been falling in love with my boys, in all their seven and four year old-ness. I've stopped and soaked up moments with them. I've swooned over stories read without help and alphabet flashcards mastered. I've grinned at excitement over play dates and school activities. I'm enamored with their sense of humor.
Like any great love story, it flows back and forth between unable to live with them and impossible to live without them. They drive me to the edge of everything. Our feelings for one another collide and come together and create something bigger than us; larger than life.
I ache for them during the school day, then I sigh with relief as I finally hear the silence in their bedroom, long after they should have been asleep. I am awed by their genius, and amazed by their lack of common sense - often in the same day. I swell with pride and I cower with embarrassment.
I always love them. Even when I want to escape from them, I love them. But there are times and moments when I fall in love with them. Just as I did in their first breaths of air, their heads on my chest and their cries calmed by my voice. Their greatness is too big not to notice, and I fall in love so deeply with everything special, and unique, and amazing about them.
So I quietly stand in doorways and watch them when they don't know I'm there. I eavesdrop on them as they talk to each other, or just to themselves. I get giddy with happiness as I drive to pick them up. I smother them with kisses and bombard them with I love yous.
I am enamored and smitten. I am falling in love. Again. Like I will a hundred times or more over a lifetime.