loving someone in divorce
By kabrit on February 21, 2012
I am almost 2 years into a relationship that is the best thing that has ever happened to me on a very character personal level, feeling so comfortable with him that I feel a relaxed state of being that I have never known (not even with my family) and having a home and work with him that we work wonderfully. There are challenges but we have worked through most challenges.
He is 3 years in progress of a difficult divorce. 4 months ago we found out his ex has a second bout of cancer. They married and she was a japanese student for years. Older than the undergraudate age. She did not work for most of their marriage. Most of the marriage was very unhappy and they were very disconnected and there was an age differences, she had signifigant issues with intimacy, and of course cultural issues. She refuses to proceed with the divorce and has not been acting to reasonably resolve the divorce though she filed the action. Cancer and judges and divorce do not play out to things getting resolved.
Of course we discuss the divorce at times however, as few friends suggest, we try to move forward. Unfortunately no matter what I know we have a tough road ahead of us just in the sense it is not easy for him to deal with the return of her cancer, other loss of friends etc. and of course there is a signifigant real estate issue that holds up the divorce because the banks will not give the house to someone with very little work history and no income. Just to note, she did do freelance work as an illustrator and worked on various projects in a field, more concerned with networking, hosting dinners than the smaller details or proactical elements of life. I know I may sound negative towards this person but she was concerned with networking for them both though if you know about japanese culture, it was not all for him.
Anyway, I look forward to our future but I try to continue to find hope that this resolves in a way that is healthy for all parties. Too many people say she will not survive and somehow that is supposed to be positive which upsets me. I am concerned about him and dealing with the situation and possible loss. I also want us to be able to build something positive out of all this.
Any insight or otherwise appreciated.
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