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Moderator, Lisa Stone, Co-Founder of BlogHer
Author, Dominique Browning, Slow Love
LISA STONE: Welcome. I’m so amazed you are here. I’m a big fan.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Thank you. I love being here. I miss being an editor. I miss dealing with writers.
LISA STONE: How did you know you were a writer? How did you come to the belief that you wanted to be an editor?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: First thing I ever wrote at 15 was a letter to the editor about a incredibly sexist comment and it was published. The most thrilling thing that had ever happened to me. 10 years later I understood that I can’t make a living as a writer, but I loved the editorial world. I love writers, helping with ideas, helping express themselves. I ended up in editing more than writing. I was in different magazine, Esquire, Texas monthly, etc, but everything I did formed the next thing I did. When I got to House and Garden, and my friend said, “You’re going to House and Garden?” And just because it’s that doesn’t mean it’s an airhead magazine. I started writing a column about this is why we love our House and Garden and we’re showing you beautiful designs and photography about our homes, our gardens. It was my pre-blog.
LISA STONE: Then you were fired.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Then we were all fired. It was a closing. I put on my pajamas and basically went into a tailspin. I woke up after a few weeks, and thought, “Now what do I do?” Thought I would write, I’m an incredibly good typist. I started typing emails to friends about how I was doing, and the “I” on my keyboard disappeared, I couldn’t type an I but it was all in my head. I remember how I just felt totally erased. I stopped writing for 6 months. It was when I began to feel better I wrote about it – incredibly depressed, and wrote it.
LISA STONE: Each one of us at some point of us in our lives hits a reinvention point. Slow Love gives a profound look, entertaining and revealing. The opening is hilarious. I love the line “Slow Love is about knowing what you’ve got before it’s gone.” Then you talk about gardening. And then you started a blog. Can you tell us what this blog did for you and the reaction for it?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: The prologue was last thing I wrote. Thought I was writing about slow living. Something about the process of being forced to slow down and tune into life around us and take a few moments to connect with something about the world. We all have the experience of noticing the sunset is gorgeous and then we race by. It’s a good idea to notice the sunset is beautiful and then pull up a chair. I think I’ve become more mindful and centered about the world around me without feeling I have to do spiritual retreat. SL is taking advantage of what you have around you to heal/nurture.
LISA STONE: So you’re a known voice. You got published with SL. When I think about someone who is not DOMINIQUE BROWNING, how did the blog become a part of what you were doing?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: People said to me, you should write number two and three, but if you’ve ever been fired it doesn’t do much for your self esteem. When I came up for the idea, I thought “What is Slow Love.” Then I realized I have a passion for this.
LISA STONE: One of the reasons to blog is to market. How do you sell and put yourself into this journey?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I feel like this blog is part of my market. I am a writer, I take all the pictures. Why am I doing this? I feel so much love for doing it; writing, how much I love to share experiences, and hear from readers. I think about times editors have called me from the blog and said, “I noticed a sentence about sewing up a shirt, would you write about it?” Magazine editors are reediting it. Marketing is saying, “Here I am, here is what I can do for you.” And that is a marketing department.
LISA STONE: So yes, for your own personal quest in marketing, do you ever get to a point where selling or marketing feels too much?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I feel we impose discipline on ourselves. You don’t have to do this every single day. You have to find a break, find a way to refresh, you can get burned out very quickly. It’s time consuming, however, people choose to find a period of refreshment is necessary. Hang a sign saying, “I’m gone” and people will come back.
LISA STONE: And you have twitterer?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Someone once compared twitter to a cocktail party, I usually go to the wall but I’m trying to keep up with twitter and I have a facebook page. The woman who designed my blog and worked with me said to me, “Everyone gravitates to what you’re good at. Not all bloggers good at twitter, vice versa.” We all have to do what we’re good at.
LISA STONE: I’d love for you all to start asking questions? If you have them?
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Thank you, I’m curious if you have insight into the use of other media. A way to approach someone, but protect yourself from having the idea taken. Can you speak a little on the use of other media combined with books.
LISA STONE: I’m going to jump in on that, Patrick Mulligan and Barbara Marcus, they were in the morning. Working with interesting properties that involve more than one media. The kindle and competitors are dong things. As far as protecting your idea, what do you think?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I don’t know. Linda –
Linda: It depends what process of the pitch you’re in. anything you’ve written is copyrighted.. In tangible form, it’s copyrighted. In meetings with people, you could have non disclosure agreement with them for business or products, an obligation not to disclose material after the fact and to return it. There are protections to put in place. Ideas are not copyrightable. Stories. Until you memorialize the idea on paper a lot of other people can take it.
LISA STONE: That’s very helpful. Amy Turnsharp gave me a synopsis of her idea on a 6x6 card, which is very smart. How do editors feel about signing something?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I would never sign something like this. I might be thinking of something similar myself. I don’t even know where the writer got the idea.
LISA STONE: I think the best thing is to show up with a one pager with a copyright.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I’m a screenwriter. You can not own an idea or title. You can own or sue for an execution of an idea and have to prove access. For those of us who may be interested in self publishing to internet. There are so many competitors, how do we know which is the best? Kindle or other forms?
LISA STONE: Great question. I think that if you have a relationship with a publishing house of any kind means having an imprint gets you a cache. You have to think about a second and third book. You are in a publishing continuum. You want to work the relationships. Several writers have self published through Amazon. Raise your hands. Yes, let’s talk to her. I think publishing to your blog and saying you’re looking for editor/agent is the way to go.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I’ve been writing for 30 years and have a novel that I self published. I found it too long, things weren’t resonating. The most important thing to do is have it edited, no matter how good you think it is. I went to writers digest and for $3 a page I had it edited and learned a lot. I went to another and line by line they smoothed out sentences. I had the cover done professionally and had the fact highlighted that I am a travel editor. $3000 later I am ready. It’s a long project, I published it on Amazon on e-reader and on Barnes and Noble. All formats were done professionally.
LISA STONE: Do you mind if I ask how many copies?
AUDIENCE MEMBER: About 25. Not a lot. I’m at the point where I will sell a lot more, but I don’t have hours to do this by myself and the rest have to be done by someone else. It’s called Collector of Affections.
I want to mention book country for writers that penguin started and is colleen Lindsay in the room right now? She’s the editor overseeing? The most successful bloggers I know consistently say you have to invest to be successful. Design or HTML.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: One of our virtual attendees has question. DM you reinvented yourself going through such a traumatic time with all of this change? Your book doesn’t gloss over a lot.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: There are a few things I learned about this process of reinvention. There is a period of mourning one goes through because of leaving behind or trauma. We are very hard on ourselves. People tell us to get over it. But we have to give ourselves permission to mourn. The mourning period can be quite active even though we aren’t aware of what’s going on. We might not be aware of what’s going on but be patient. Let it come forward. Sometimes you say, I don’t know. I’m sitting. I’m writing around. I’m going to get through this but I don’t know where to go. That’s ok. The third thing is to say, “Why am I still doing what I was doing when I was 22?” And take a look at everything. Ask questions. Lastly, get rid of the toxic people. Get rid of the situation. When you put yourself online, it’s there. That kind of energy can derail you.
LISA STONE: Can I ask – what do you do with toxic comments? Dominique Browning? What do you do with all that?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I ask, how bad is this? Sometimes someone is grumpy. It may sound worse than it needs to be. I’ll push back and ask why, and if they are especially nasty I will delete and block different addresses. I resisted for more than a year. But one person called anonymous will contaminate anything.
LISA STONE: Do you disclose on your blog you do that?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Yes.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: DOMINIQUE BROWNING I love your approach to life. It resonates with me. There is a whole debate as bloggers as writers. We’re kind of self accredited. What is your experience in the group of journalists and what is the perception of bloggers as writer and the reception of bloggers as writers.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I think of a journalist of getting out there. Reporting. I’m doing that on a blog but it’s journalism. I think we get locked into an idea we are bloggers but it’s just a platform. It’s different kinds of writing but unlimited. What’s wonderful about blogging is that you can be essayist, humor columnist, you can be whatever you want. I think of my SL life blog is not journalism. It’s an essayist. Somewhere between keeping a personal journal, although it’s not, but it’s not an essay I really honed and polished. Its fast, you get it out there. And in terms of marketing, we’ve talked about book. Look where you got 75 comments. You can tell when you’ve touched a nerve. If you’re not sure where you want to go with a book, look at this.
LISA STONE: One of the other questions is if one is a blogger, not a journalist, what is the perception by journalists? Can you break into this?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Now the magazines editors are reading blogs, looking for new voices. That’s where they’re finding new writers. Perfect place to put yourself out there. Everyone wants a blog. You have to do more to be seen but it’s exciting.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I’m 26 and don’t have friends in the writing community. I get a lot of supportive comments and write very honestly and openly. I get this a lot, “That sounds so elf absorbed.” What is an intelligent response for this?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I’m going to think about this for the next 3 days then it will come to me. I was in Newsweek for several years. One day I walked in, and it was all men, and I said, we should do a cover story on depression. No one had ever done this in major magazine. They looked at me like I was crazy. We did the cover, first major story on depression. Bags of mail came in, saying thank you. Everyone wants to connect. The point is to connect. We all start with ourselves. You should feel like you’re part of a noble tradition. I don’t think you should feel defensive. The things that touch heart are things we all care about.
LISA STONE: I read your blog. For years people could not understand about the technology building a community. So say to them, “Read it and tell me what you think? And then they won’t feel that way about you.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I love the point you made about life change being thrust upon us. I’d like to ask how you keep from going overboard into self indulgence as you write for therapy? What questions do you ask to pull yourself back?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I would say you can’t know how to set a boundary, you have to bump up against it. The raw place can be the connecting place. We all the have the bell that says don’t say that. I ignore it, but it’s a mistake. If the bell is ringing, GO FOR IT. Save as draft. Go for a walk. Think about it. Be self protective but genuine. It’s about writing and not just about confession. Otherwise we’d be at the dr. That keeps you from going to far. Find a beginning, middle, end.
LISA STONE: What degree do you think about the reader? Like, how relevant is it to her as she reads what you wrote?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I think about her. I’m not the kind of person who tells me what I should do. But it’s my blog and I’ll do what I want to. I get this all the time in politics. I get people who say, I don’t come here to read about politics, I want photos. OK, skip that.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I’m asking about the process of your book, did you write a book proposal in the middle of what till you where done?
LISA STONE: And is it ok to package something for a proposal before it’s done? Can you pitch an editor without it being finished?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Everyone does it differently. I have written mine before I give it to my agent. But other people can say in 3 pages what their book is about. Do what feels comfortable for you. All of it; magazine, book, blog, all a giant circle. My blog came after I wrote, but it won’t matter.
LISA STONE: You talked about being a control freak. Can you share some of your watch words?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: You can’t imagine the messes that end up on editors desks and how irritating it is. Button it up. The reason this conference works is it’s buttoned up. Your proposal has to be the same way. A very high level of quality.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I had a question about focus. My book is focused. My blog is all over the place. If an editor looks at my page and it has nothing to do with my book, will that hurt me? Is it ok to be all over?
LISA STONE: In order to get published, to be taken seriously, is it ok to be diversified or to concentrate on one area?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I would recommend not fighting your personality. I love everything. My natural path is to talk about a lot of different things. I have friends who love certain things, and that’s what they do. You can’t fight your intellectual make up. If you find yourself wanting to talk about different thing, the important thing is your voice. Youre got to pick what’s true to you. Writing a book or a blog takes a very long time You have to love what you’re doing.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I have a strong platform but was told the market wasn’t big enough. How do I write a book for a large enough audience that will attract an editor?
LISA STONE: How does one expand on a topic idea?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I would start asking are there specific things I want to write about? Issues? Character study? Now? So many different ways you can dice it.
LISA STONE: I wonder if it’s about finding the right editor and publisher? Do you feel like there are still publishers and printers who want our voices, even if we’re not Sarah Palin?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Yes. I think any editor will tell you if you do something that is interesting and give you a way to look at the world, that goes a long way. There is no rule about what will and won’t work.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: What are your tips and tricks on editing? Do you do it all? Chunks? Self editing?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I read everything out loud. You would be amazed when you hear your words how it’s a way of editing. Self editing, yes. If I don’t have to publish it immediately I give it time. With blogging, you don’t want to spend a lot of time editing.
LISA STONE: To add to that, what’s it like working with an editor who takes your words and morphing them? How do you find an editor who gets you even if it doesn’t feel great?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I have a list of editors who I won’t write for because they don’t get me. If they morph your voice and language, that’s a bad thing. The thing about toxic relationships – that’s one. A good editor protects your voice but tells you what you think you are saying isn’t coming across. To find them, it’s trial and error. Sometimes it’s not the editor. It’s the junior editor. You can find each other. We are drawn to people whose voices we like. It might take going through a few before you get there.
LISA STONE: That’s a really empowered choice. To say, “I don’t think you get me.”
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: And if you need the paycheck, it’s hard to walk away. You have to be able to say no.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Is there a way to trust your voice and the message that comes across, how do you know that what you’re saying is ready to be put into book form?
LISA STONE: So how do you feel like if you’re on a journey of self discovery, how do you keep that one voice and what if you change?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: None of us have just one voice. We’re funny, sad, passionate. It’s not one voice. It’s your voice. I keep talking about reading out loud because you’ll say, does this sound like me? People talk about being a writer but you just have to write. The more you write the more your voice comes forward and you are in a flow.
LISA STONE: It’s like an actor or a musician, you just do it.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: Exactly. You find your voice because you love to write. Don’t be self conscious, it will happen. Don’t try to channel it.
LISA STONE: Your writing is a great example.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I’m learning a lot of about air pollution and environmental talk. I’ve started to read blogs and what we can do to protect ourselves and our children from product. It’s very small. Air pollution is important. It takes 5 minutes to send a letter to your senator about clean air. There are a lot of laws coming up about clean air. The people who suffer the most are our children. We need to put our feet down and say, “We’re not taking this.” I love this. This affects your food, pets, animals, so many things.
LISA STONE: Momscleanairforce.org
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I’m curious how people market for poetry or miracle prose? Would it be sacrilegious to market my poetry?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I would just put it out there. It’s very hard to market something like that. I just finished reading a beautiful book by a woman as a poet. It’s mesmerizing. You can’t market something like that but just do it.
LISA STONE: I think you shouldn’t hold back. There are plenty of things marketed out there. You’re putting a voice to it. You have just as much right to package it as anyone else. I would say, go for it. Plenty of people are looking for you.
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I wanted to talk about blogging and how it’s perceived. The power of being online is enormous.
LISA STONE: It’s finding your community.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: I’m looking into writing a memoir and I think the book would appeal to a female audience, but coming from the perspective of a dad and man, would men read this? What would men read?
DOMINIQUE BROWNING: I would recommend you go find sites online that are your community and start making connections. The wonderful thing about the online community is that it’s a big net. You have to do the work to prepare.
LISA STONE: I agree. Write for blogs that get a lot of attention. Contact syndication sites. Michael Lewis wrote a blog called Home Game and it’s very unique. Thank you Dominique.
