A Magic Carpet Ride to Saturn

Laurie:  I won’t even tell you how I ended up there but I spent a Friday night at a Whole Energy Festival in a Manhattan hotel.  Folks who had just dined on raw food, channeled the directions to the hotel, and chanted on the subway showed up in flocks.  Some of the booths I encountered included an 87-year-old man who wanted to heal my back with an ice cube.  He also wanted me to buy his $25 self-published book that showed me how to do it myself by way of stick figure diagrams.  A lovely Indian lady accosted me with a cracker and some almond butter that her husband created.  It was his very own special recipe and half a jar only cost $10.  I may be one of the few people with a peanut butter machine but almond butter has already been through the grinder at my house.  I can add a few hot spices and it will cost me less than $10.  So I passed on that also.

elizabeth:  Why is she selling half a jar? What happened to the other half?  Hey, if I could channel directions I would not have to listen to my GPS’s attitude when I don’t make the next legal turn. I know you picked this subject so you could make fun of my “let people live their lives” philosophy so I think I am not going to steer my love train in that direction. Hey, we met at one of the Omega events in the city and you didn’t get weirder as a result of it. Okay maybe a little.

Laurie:  Someone else drew a love chakra on my back.  They weren’t selling anything.  They were just there to pass on the love.  A Shamanic Indian lady shook rattles and ruffled feathers in the corner while she drew out unhealthy forces, and a gentleman was there advertising a “secret” society where, after completing the twelve stages of this “secret” program, you get a cool and groovy check for one million dollars.  I took a card – what the hell? 

elizabeth:  So what stage are you up to? I can see that happening on the same day I vote for the conservative ticket. But if you have any problems with the “secret” society questions, I am pretty good at making up stuff. This way we can split the check. I would do that for you.

Laurie:  It occurred to me somewhere during the three hours I spent at the Whole Energy Festival that this must be a lonely existence.  You can’t just walk up to anyone and offer to draw a love chakra on their back.  Tell someone you belong to a millionaire’s club and you’re likely to get mugged.  Dance around with a feather in your hand chanting and you’ll be spending the night in jail.  So no wonder these people talked too long, followed you around, explained in excruciating detail the specialness of the product or service, and occasionally frightened me.  This was a chance to get together with other like-minded out-of-the-box (and maybe looney bin) people.  And laugh if you will, but there was a spiritual healer there who zeroed in on my hip problems and some other things I’ve been working on lately.  When she asked if she could open up the chakra in my ass (maybe she said solar plexus), I said of course.  I’m no fool.  I could be a millionaire with a healed hip snacking on expensive almond butter by this time next year.

elizabeth:  I am impressed with this turn around. I knew that if you had ass charka opened that you would become one with the universe. I’ll be on Saturn having my long talk with Glen Beck on how I can help the conservative party. Crash and burn. How is that for peace, love and understanding? Hey, I can see Uranus from here.



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