Making Love With The Light On


Some day (it’s different for each of us midlife women), your once-trustworthy fairy godmother will sneak up behind you with her magic wand and – poof! an expanded waistline, and poof! some extra thigh contour, and poof! a little (yech!) back fat.

You’ll spend some time trying to make peace with your three way mirror, but eventually you’ll think about sex. When that happens, you'll have to confront the Scary Body Question -- how can I get naked with someone new?  Men are men after all, and for them, “companionship” is only a code word.  Eventually, strolls in the park and holding hands in the movies will not be enough.

My guy is foreign born and he was an adult when he came to the States. That’s what allows me to believe that his tolerance for a little belly fat – well, a little more than little – is sincere. Foreign born men seem to favor women who don’t starve or Botox themselves into cadaver-like copies of their former selves. American men, on the contrary, are awash in skinny-girl media images and have begun to think size two is the norm.


I basked in my lover’s early glad appraisal of my physique. I had been wrapping myself in loose-fitting jackets to disguise an expanded waist and a past-perky bust line, and I was sure his interest in me would wane when we finally arrived at full disclosure. It didn’t. If anything, having some real flesh to grab onto seems to delight him. My self-image is restored. My self-esteem has gone through the roof. Hoo-wah!!!

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