Man-Diet

Contrary to your initial reaction to what a man-diet is...it is NOT consuming beer, beef and potatoes as you slowly morph into a fried version of the latter in front of the tube. Instead, it's a diet where man is your food and you must avoid consuming it! Brilliant I tell you!

A man-diet means saying farewell to overthinking, overanalyzing, emotionally attaching yourself, frustrating confusion, depressing waiting, hopelessly wanting, miserably feeling, constantly wondering and consistently being an overall freaking pathetic woman who is "in like" or "in love" - whatever suits you best.

A man-diet frees up time for yourself - allowing you to hit the gym, partake in expensive fitness classes and buy a load of sexy Lululemon gym-wear so you'll go to the gym more to get your cute lil booty high and tight, your abs sculpted into amazingness and your arms loaded with fierceness.

A man-diet means more money to selfishly shop till you drop-- spending superfluous amounts of your disposable income on designer jeans, cute purses, cute weekend wear, trendy work wardrobe, loads of make-up, bundles of hair products and retail therapy that becomes a part of your life.

A man-diet means a day with yourself getting a facial, mani-pedi, massage, haircut and wax without having to pick up the phone to tell him when you're coming back to cook him dinner.

A man-diet is spending time with your girlfriends, laughing at how stupid each guy made you feel and how much better off you are without him, grabbing brunch and gabbing gossip about work and the lack of work life balance you have, the quarter life crisis you think you're having and whether or not you'll turn lesbian and find true love (since girls are not jerks) or freeze your eggs so you can have a baby when the time is right even if a man is not ready to be there with you.

A man-diet is loving life… over-indulging… excessively living… truly experiencing freedom. Freedom from the constant gloom that puts us in a frenzy of …

"Is my phone working?"
"Does he like me?"
"Should I play hard to get?"
"Can we just be friends?"
"How is that fat butt with a cute guy when my skinniness is single?"
"Why can't I fall in love too?"
"Will I ever get married?
"Why can't I meet a guy like that?"
"Am I doomed for single-ness forever?"
"Will I ever be happy?"

OF COURSE YOU WILL! Men are not happiness, only a glimpse of one tiny aspect of true happiness. Until you're happy with yourself.. you'll never be happy with a man - regardless of him being a jerk face who uses and abuses your beautiful body, mind and soul or him being the most compassionate and super sweetheart on this world. Love yourself… the man will come eventually (I think I read it in a magazine somewhere but it's oh-so-true!) 

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