A Man with Money & Power? Not What Turns Me On.
By Liz Rizzo on October 15, 2009
BlogHer Original Post
I was reading the comments on some post about the David Letterman extortion situation the last time I read it. I didn't bookmark where, but it was your general run-of-the-mill stereotypical comment about how women are attracted to money and power. That always gets me thinking, because this gen-x girl just flat out doesn't get it. And today, I'm going to go one further. Thinking about it, I realized that I find money and power, UNattractive.
It comes down to the fact, that I want an equal partner in my life, and I'm still working on the success thing. So when I myself had money and power, and I was single, maybe I would date men with money and power. But right now, I'm a hardworking girl who wants to be with a hardworking boy. I mean, if you form a partnership, success is bound to ebb and flow and your relationship evolves to adapt. But, I've never been interested in seeking out someone who's far ahead of me on the curve when starting a *new* relationship.
Certainly, in L.A. one comes across people with more money and more power. And certainly the occasion might come up to date someone like that. But when I really stopped to think about it this time, I realized that I actually perceive it as a negative; beyond it simply not being on my list of say, ten most desirable categories, money and power are actually something to be negated by other positive qualities like geekiness or sense of humor.
And the thought of someone putting money and power over say, sexual compatibility or chemistry... I mean, really??? Intellectually, I get that there's people out there who aren't like me. But putting that aside, to my heart and soul and every cell in my body, that's just crazy talk. I can pay my own damn bills; I don't need or want a man for that!
Because I don't really get it, I tend to think of women attracted to money and power as a hold over from days gone by, where many woman didn't have many choices or the ability or right to take care of themselves even if they wanted to. Or I think of it in terms of a father-figure thing. When I meet a woman who might wheedle something out of her father, I think, OK, maybe that's a woman who can date someone with money and power.
Man, I hope this post doesn't sound judgey. Because the truth is, if two people are happy and consenting and nothing unethical is going on, more power to you. When I look at a woman seemingly motivated by money and power, and a man motivated by what is usually presented as the flip side of the coin - youth and attractiveness, not only do I not judge, I don't even assume that it's really about what people say it's about.
But if it *is* purely about his money and power, I just don't get it.
What about you? Do you understand that stereotypical saw? 'Cause I get sick of reading it, myself.
Is It OK for Women to Be Breadwinners? - A he-said-she-said where he says that men are insecure and are intimidated by powerful women.
Bitch? Yes. Cougar? No. - She's *not* into younger men.
Anatomy of Niceness - Thoughts on "nice guys."
Contributing editor Liz Rizzo also blogs at Everyday Goddess.