The Man Who Took A Bullet For His iPod

My lovely Nashville just got married. Beautiful wedding and the reception was a lot of fun.

In addition to the free drinks, dancing, hanging out with friends and taking more pictures than necessary, I finally was able to put a face to a name. That name is, "The Man Who Took a Bullet for His iPod."

Would you take a bullet for this?

The man who took a bullet for his iPod's name will be Marco for this story. I had heard the story of how Marco was out--night jogging-- and was mugged for his iPod. Horrible story. But as details of the story continued, I learned that Marco had been shot because he refused to give the mugger his iPod.

I was ashamed that my first reaction to the story was: Stupid. Why didn't he give up the iPod? He got shot for a $250 electronic?

As I thought about it more, I realized there may have been other factors involved: Maybe Marco didn't know the mugger had a gun; Or, maybe he tried to run--with iPod still in hand-- and the mugger shot him then. Lots of gray area. I  felt bad judging. I wasn't there.

Marco survived the incident with his life and his iPod (it did not hit a major organ or artery). And at first hearing, a man who "got shot for his iPod" gives Chuck Norris a run for his money on the bad ass scale.

The ranger is behind you. And he's a Ginger!

So, knowing I was going to meet Marco at the wedding, I was excited. This was my Chuck Norris!

Upon meeting Marco, I was very, very confused.

Marco--it turns out--is a 5'4-ish, very thin, potentially gay (unconfirmed) Vietnamese man. He brought another one of his and Nashville's male co-workers as a "bromance date." (Capricorn swears Marco's date spent a good portion of the evening checking him out. I cannot confirm this report, but I find it entertaining none the less. The man does look handsome in his suit.)

At first meeting Marco, I blurted out, "Marco! I'm Jean. Nice to meet you. How's the iPod?" He greeted me with wild laughter and a hug. He knew I knew about his claim to fame.

Next, he asked me if I would help him thrust a pen into the pockets of his suit jacket and rip through the starter threads because he "couldn't get it open on my own." I offered him a pen, but he insisted I do it because he had tried in the car without any success. This was an awkward introduction.

I stuck the pen into his left suit jacket pocket and slightly pulled. The threads didn't budget. "Be careful! I might return this suit," Marco insisted.

"Um, it's much easier to do this with your hand. Here," I said as I cupped my hand, put it in Marco's pocket, and opened my hand forcefully until the starter threads gave way. I repeated this action in the other pocket.

I am not sure Marco knows my name, but I hope to god he remembers me as the girl who broke through his suit threading. That's a rare request to ask of someone you just met.


(Read more of Lady J's musings at

"Yes!" Marco said. "Your hands must be stronger than mine. Thank you."

At this time I couldn't help but ponder: This is the bad ass who got shot for his iPod?

He couldn't break though temporary threading in a suit jacket, but he could stand up to a mugger and refuse to hand over his iPod?

I couldn't help myself. I had to ask, "Why didn't you give him the iPod?"

Marco laughed, "Hell no! I wasn't going to give that up."

Some people really like their things. Bravery in name of commerce.

It turned out that Marco was seated at my table at the wedding (SHOUTOUT: TABLE 6!) and I tried in vain to whisper to Capricorn that this was indeed to man who took a bullet for his iPod. He couldn't understood what I was saying, so eventually, while standing at the bar I yelled out "Dude who took a bullet for his iPod!" and pointed to Marco. Capricorn shook his head and told me I must have misunderstood what Nashville meant. He did not see the Chuck Norris-style bad ass in him.

Keep your mitts off my playlist, fool.

At one point in the night, I thought perhaps Marco was trained in martial arts or hand-to-hand combat, so his strength and stealthiness were hidden factors. He had to pretend he couldn't break through the temporary threading in his suit jacket to keep up the rouse. Perhaps he was a sneaky ninja, with the discipline to only use force when in danger.

To test this theory, I recruited Big Booty Judy to attempt to lift Marco's wallet. For a moment, she considered the proposal. Ultimately, she lost interest in my quest when Marco disappeared to the bathroom for 30 minutes and she left me to go outside on the golf course. Curses!

The world may never know.

So kids, when you meet your heroes, don't be surprised if they are mere mortals. Sometimes everyday people do extraordinary things and they get lucky. Very lucky.

I do wonder how Marco navigates his life, with the incredible notion that he's been shot before and lived to tell the tale. I hope he's never put in that position again. I hope he builds up his hand strength so he can fix his own suit jackets from now on. I also hope to see him again; I have many unanswered questions.

You might be someone's Chuck Norris if you do something as stupid as take a bullet for your iPod. Don't. Chuck Norris is overrated. Don't ever do that. Give up the iPod and run like hell.

In honor of Table 6 shenanigans. And with Flower

No night jogging,

Lady J

Copyright © 2012 Lady J
All rights reserved


(Read more of Lady J's musings at


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