Manifesting Your Man

I couldn’t get rid of it. I was churning and burning, playing and replaying, and beating myself up. I could not get over the fact that I had left one of the kids behind on the streets of downtown Toronto the night of my son’s 12th birthday party. The conversation repeated itself over and over in my thoughts, “How could I be so reckless?” I kept asking myself. “What kind of mother am I? What I've done is unforgivable. His mother won't ever trust me with her son again.”

Though I talked to the mother and made sure that her son was safe and sound and pleaded for forgiveness, the nightmare just would not leave me and I could not sleep. The vision of this poor child waiting in the streets, alone and scared, haunted me. I felt terrible and I knew that if I didn’t take action, I would certainly have a sleepless night and even many more.

I decided to do a little self-coaching. What would I tell my clients to do in the exact same situation? Trade up. Just think of a somewhat better thought and afterwards think of one that is much better than that. Think about any situation that will make you really feel good…

I embarked upon my mission of walking my walk. I began with a conversation with God.

“Ok God. I am ready for you to give me the man of my dreams. I am here waiting. Tell him to simply come and get me because I’m ready. Make him gentle, and kind, and loving, and make him great with kids. Also God, make certain that we have similar values and that my friends and family like him. Please make him the type of guy who knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am exactly what he wants and then make him very comfortable showing that frequently. I hope I'm not being too demanding God, but please make certain he is good-looking and not short.”

Next, I launched into a complete fantasy. It was brief, yet deep and felt exceptionally real:

The phone rang. I answered, “Hello?”

“Hi Kim? My name is Jake (I pulled a name out of thin air). I got your number from such and such and they told me that I had to call you because they said that you're my ideal match. They told me that if I didn’t call you that I would be missing an opportunity of a lifetime to meet my soul mate.”

That conversation left such an effect on me that a couple of days later I shared it with a friend.

That same exact evening I received a message on my voicemail:

“Hi Kim, my name is Allan Friedman. I got your name from a couple of teachers at the school where I teach and they're under the impression that we should meet.”

Holy smokes! My fantasy had come to life! My heart was doing triple somersaults! I called him back and without any censoring I told him the story of my fantasy. “I must have lost my mind - the man will think I am crazy.” But I couldn’t stop myself.

He asked me to join him for dinner on Saturday evening. Unfortunately, I would be in Ohio on Saturday returning from a presentation and not landing until 5:30 p.m. Assessing the time it would take to arrive, cross customs, pick-up my luggage, get back home and freshen up, I suggested a later dinner at 8 p.m. He asked me how I was planning on getting home. I said that I would grab a cab. He said, “How about if I pick you up?” An airport pickup on the first date!?!?!? This was getting better by the minute!

“Sure” I said, “I would love that. How will I know it’s you?”

“I have a few pictures on Facebook you can take a look at.”

On the flight home, I wrote in my journal:
“I am meeting Allan Friedman today and for quite a few reasons, I am not tense. It seems normal. After viewing his photos, I feel like I've met him before, I'm not sure where, maybe in another life.”

Strangely enough, because I travel a lot and fly a lot, I've also had a recurring fantasy about landing at the airport and having someone waiting for me with a sign.

I arrived. I took a deep breath. As I walked through the solid glass doors to the arrival area, there he was waiting for me with a handmade sign that said “KIM”.

He did feel familiar, as if I'd known him for a long time. He was undoubtedly good looking and short (you always get what you focus on).

Within a week, he said he loved me and started sharing ideas about marriage. He had to be crazy. After six months, we were engaged and now we’re married.

Funny things happen if you trade up your thoughts.

Kim Ades, MBA, President of Frame of Mind Coaching and JournalEngine™ Software, is one of North America’s foremost experts on performance through thought management. By using her unique process of coaching through journaling, she works with clients to unveil and switch their thought patterns to ignite significant change and life transformation. Assess your frame of mind at



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