Marathon Mom Paula Radcliffe Raises Controversy (supposedly)

i do think that a LOT of it has to do with those circles. certainly, in my social circles, i am surrounded by women who humble and inspire me. we chose each other, and are so lucky to have each other.

i never experienced the kind of weird vibe i get now until i done into the male-dominated world of VC's, and assumed the women would all support each other (which is what most of the women in my life do) and i was, instead, greeted with a lot of snarkery - but a handful of remarkable women who i have made lifelong bonds with.

i don't know where the "blame" lies. i do think that the media has a lot to do with it. and that there is a lot of innate "survival of the fittest" stuff that goes on when people define success narrowly, the path to it narrows and gets crowded. thus, my push to broaden the definition - enable more boats to rise to the top.

good for you for going running. i'm sitting on my ass today. didn't get much of anything done - oh well, it happens, event o the best of us.

my question, i guess, is how do we take those who feel the need to snark, and empower them so that they don't feel that need anymore?
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Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com ( http://www.JustCauseIt.com )

The points from your perspective are well taken. I would never presume to dispute your experience of competition from other women in the workplace.

In my case, I am happy to report that the only issues that have come up with my colleagues in my former career as a medical R&D professional is that I tend to be a bit too loud in my workspace. I have partial hearing in my one of my ears, thus when I speak on the phone, my voice is amped in volume and I've been regularly told to pipe down.

Further, I can say with pleasure and pride that in my 25 years of working in both academia and the private sector, my relationships with women co-workers and superiors have been productive, gratifying and supportive.

In regards to the issue of competition in the office/lab, I have only experienced this from male colleagues, and, interestingly, women who do not identify as feminists. Also, I've known uneasiness from others, mostly white men, in regards to my ethnicity.

In my circle, I can safely say that, with the exception of my sister who dukes it out in the dog-eat-dog world of real estate, women co-workers and supervisors have not been an issue for any of my family members and friends. In fact, my brother married his boss 21 years ago - my lovely sister-in-law who my old school mother calls "our lady engineer."

And so, from my experience I have not found that women compete with each other. Instead, I have found refuge and community with females in the workplace and beyond.

Now, I must go out and run, though certainly not as fast as Paula Radcliffe, but in solidarity with her as a running mama.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor
State of Grace ( http://gracedavis.typepad.com/ )

trying to cull responses to separate comments -

the katie holmes comment cracked me up. seriously, laughed out loud, but at the same time, even though it was said in jest, it's still an air of competition and spite that is pervasive. and accepted as long as we poke fun at certain agreed upon targets, or people who we think have advantages over us.

but it's really all still the same thing.

that said, the overriding truth is still that the media gives us 2-dimensional and unrealistic role-models that we - and others - use to unfairly judge everyone around us. and yes, men too. i can't remember the last time i saw a leading man who wasn't significantly more attractive, more wealthy, had more material success than the vast majority of real men that i know.

i really think that it goes both ways. and it is harmful on all of us.

i have at least one really good male friend who worked his way to a complete breakdown believing that he had to look good, make lots of money, provide for everyone in his life and still squeeze in a game of golf. the media does an abhorrent job of fully-fleshing human stories. (pun intended.)

that reporter SHOULD have talked to Paula, Katie and some 52 year-old in spandex granny panties. we cannot be fully celebrated as women until we celebrate all of us, in all our diversity. rich and poor. old and young. black and white. gay and straight. and the media will only follow suit if we change the environment and stop making fun of each other, or throwing barbs at each other.

and yes, elite athletes are just different than the rest of us. test after test has shown that to be the case - you'd think they could have worked that in to the story. and it disheartens me every time i see a "just had a baby" celebrity in a bikini talking about getting back in shape immediately. the cabbage soup comment made me cringe - as if her body was more important than her health, or that of her baby, or the reality of being a mother to a newborn. i wish i could be a celebrity and have another baby (neither of which strike me as possible, one of which is literally impossible) and go on tv, 25 pounds overweight and say, "i'm tired, i'm crabby, i just want to eat oreos and damn it, that's what i'm gonna do for a while. i'll get back in shape when i do, and until then, i'm doing my best."

we're all different. some of us run marathons, some don't. some bounce righ tback into our old shape, some of us don't. but we're all just doing our best.

good job paula. good job katie. good job granny panties. good job all of you who at some point today were kind, got up off your butts and did something that made you feel better, made the world a better place or just checked something off your to-do list. and for those of you who didn't, oh well. do it tomorrow. we're only human. whatever that means to you.
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com ( http://www.JustCauseIt.com )

...of women in this culture. Expectations that we can't meet because 99.99% of us are normal, everyday women in the stretched out granny panties from Target. (Or, in my case, Costco).

We're unfairly compared to sleek and rich celebrities and newsmakers. Thus, we end up unfairly comparing ourselves to these sleek and rich celebrities and newsmakers.

Worse still, we're now being compared to elite athletes. As I mentioned in the comment above, does this happen to men? Never.

The media's manipulation of how we view women is transparent and pathetic. Wouldn't it have made more sense for the reporter to have interviewed mothers who regularly run marathons? There's plenty of us out there.

But, the reporter wanted a certain slant to her piece. And, it was a silly ploy, not worthy of you, Sweatpants Mom and, certainly, Paula Radcliffe.

Further to Paula Radcliffe - this is a world class athlete who deserves just as much air time as a star NFL player. I was gratified to see Radcliffe - a mighty athlete with integrity and humility and is known as a gracious competitor - on the front pages of the sports pages both in print and online.

It's not always been easy for Radcliffe who experienced a very public, humiliating defeat in the 2004 Athens Olympics when she had to quit the women's marathon event at mile 23 ( http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/olympics_2004/athl... ). Her comeback is a delight for those of us who love the sport of running.

Finally, I was quite happy to see that Paula Radcliffe's victory overshadowed Katie Holmes participation in the marathon. If you want to take aim at a famous figure, go for Mrs. Cruise. She's the one with the chefs, nanny and money. Paula Radcliffe - and the majority of elite marathoners - does not have the advantage and bling of that fancy lifestyle.

Indeed, the reporter should have asked you how you felt about Katie Holmes finishing a marathon. You know how I would have responded? With the chefs, nanny and money and youth (she was 28 at the time of the race), Mrs. Cruise should have come in a heck of a lot faster than me, a 52 year old mom in stretched granny undies whose personal best beats young and rich Katie's by a half hour.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor
State of Grace ( http://gracedavis.typepad.com/ )

Re-reading my words, they indeed sound dismissive and pissy, which was not my intent - not entirely anyway.

I have found that women do compete with each other, in a way that drives me nuts. NUTS. yes, it is hyped in the media, but i get it int he real world all the time. Recently i was presenting at a Venture Conference for entrepreneurs, and I was talking about being a woman in the male-dominated world of Venture Capital. For the most part, people were excited, and loved it and came up and praised me. Then i realized that it was only men. The handful of women in the room largely ignored me. And the one that did come up to me said, "I think you're dressed a little too sexy to do this." I was wearing nice dark jeans, a pressed button-down black shirt and a nice pair of shoes. It's a single example, but something I run into all the time.

Similarly, when our CEO (who is a man) and I go into a room full of middle-aged men, the men will all jockey for position with each other - who knows who, went to school where, was part of what merger or acquisition etc..... But they just talk to me, no jockeying.

i think it's human nature for people to "size up" the other players int he room.

It's hard not to. We're reflective creatures. If this person is the same gender, age, profession as i, it is only natural to observe them and assess how we are similar or not, and maybe even make changes to ourselves as a result. we gather information and use it to make decisions.

the problem comes when people look at those differences as a way to decide who is good or bad, who is right or wrong, with the subtle assumption that there is a "right" way to be.

I am only comfortable in jeans and a shirt. the woman who dissed me went on to tell me that i really should be wearing a suit. note, she didn't comment on my talk, my theory, my experience or my company, just that i wasn't dressed as i should be. i told her that Steve Jobs has done pretty well wearing nothing but jeans, so I"m pretty sure I can do it too.

there was no media coverage of this interaction. nor any of the dozens like it that i (and most people) have every day.

calling it a cat-fight would be an overstatement, but pretending that the competition, the need to compare, isn't there would be to ignore something very real in our society, and in so doing, ignore an opportunity to learn something from it.

why do we need to do that?

I get back to thinking that it's because we tend to look at situations as having "a winner," a hero. a victor. and that winning and victory can be achieves by a prescribed path, that, if we all follow it, will make us winners to.

the truth, of course, is much more pluralistic, and harder. the truth is there are many ways to do "it." many ways to be beautiful, to be smart, to be successful - to be a woman. and they are all valid. but it is a more insecure feeling, for some, if you cant' define and then become it.

that's where i think we need to be focusing. we need to figure out what will enable us, as a society, to embrace multiple definitions of right, good, successful, strong, powerful. that we can allow more than one type of success story.

does the media love a cat fight? yes, they do. but that doesn't mean that it doesnt' happen in the non media world.

that said, some of the closest bonds i have with people are with other women. when i meet a kick-ass strong woman who can think for herself, love m but disagree with me, respect me but do it differently, nothing makes me happier. nothing.

it's oiur job to raise the bar, set forth new examples. we cant' turn a blind eye to the base behavior, if we do, we won't be part of the solution. we just need to look at its root and figure out how to deal with it.

i did not mean to be dismissive of women in general. (We are all here because we want to be surrounded by kick-ass women, so we are a self-selecting bunch.) but i can't dismiss the underlying problem either.
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com ( http://www.JustCauseIt.com )

Well, the reporter kept the questions quite open-ended, really, and my point (that was not included) was that clearly she was an elite athlete. Problem is, people don't get that. They see her, they see Jaime Pressley 6 weeks after her baby is born at the Emmys talking about her Cabbage Soup diet.

They don't see the other side -- trainers, chefs, nannies, money. Did I say money?

Women, particularly hormonal post partum women, see this and say "Damn, what am I doing wrong? Here I am breastfeeding my kid (which clearly neither of these probably did for very long), schlepping my butt around in pjs, and feeling pretty good if I get a shower."

Then other people see it and they say "Why aren't you up and at 'em? Why aren't you wearing your old jeans 4 weeks after you pushed out an 8lb human?"

Should women not be able to achieve great things right after having babies? No way. Kudos to her.

But it would sure be nice to see some typical old moms who just raise their kids in their stretched out granny panties get some air time too.

Motherhood Uncensored ( http://motherhooduncensored.typepad.com )

...who is not only a well informed citizen, but the sister of the great Olympian runner, Nancy Ditz-Mosbacher ( http://www.devinesports.com/Nancy_Ditz-Mosbacher.5... ), has provided us with useful data on elite athlete performance.

I would be willing to bet that the reporter who spoke with the bloggers in this piece did not preface the interview questions with this context in mind.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor
And, fan of Liz and Nancy Ditz.
State of Grace ( http://gracedavis.typepad.com/ )

...is your dismissive remark about women really necessary? -

"Personally I think that it is an issue that is both larger and smaller than women's perpetual need to compare and complain."

I disagree wholeheartedly with this tired characterization. Furthermore, this sort of accusation is rarely directed at men - whereas a man will make a stand, a woman will "compare and complain."

As implied in my comment above, the need to pit woman against woman, mother against mother is the mainstream media's love of a catfight. It's also part of their desperate search to find a juicy story.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor
Who is also one of hundreds of moms/women applauding Paula Radcliffe.
State of Grace ( http://gracedavis.typepad.com/ )

What the bloggers who commented on Radcliffe training before, during and after her pregnancy don't realize is (a) her innate physiology (becoming pregnant while extremely fit) and (b) the baseline of fitness she had.

Most women cease to ovulate below about 16% body fat. Most elite female distance runners have body fat percentages of 15% and below. ( http://www.pponline.co.uk/encyc/body-fat-and-runni... ) Obviously, Radcliffe continued to ovulate while quite lean.

The first American woman to cross the finish line in the 1988 Olympic women's marathon gave birth ten months after the Olympics, another indication that elite female endurance athletes are physiologically a bit different than their non-elite sisters.

But also see:

On Women, Sports, and the New York Marathon. ( http://blog.oup.com/2007/11/marathon-2/ )

Radcliffe is not the first mother to compete professionally after giving birth to a healthy baby, but she may be the first marathoner to train throughout pregnancy, even running the day before going into labor, not to mention subsequently winning a marathon after pregnancy. The question is whether her rigorous regimen during pregnancy as well as physical changes of pregnancy itself might have been helpful to her as an athlete. Blood volume rises about 60 percent during pregnancy, mimicking the effects of blood doping in which greater blood volume allows more oxygen to be carried to the muscles. Muscles use oxygen to produce ATP or adenosine triphosphate, which fuels muscle contractions. (The volume and speed of this process is aerobic power or VO2max). Male athletes are touted as physiologically advantaged because, on average, a male’s VO2max is 50 percent greater than a female’s. But how does a pregnant athlete’s VO2max stack up? While blood volume returns to normal within four to eight weeks after giving birth, it’s unclear exactly how training through pregnancy and birth might enhance an athlete’s post-partum performance – or how increased blood volume early in pregnancy might be a boon.

Obviously, pregnant world-class female athletes-in-training are not an easily studied group. But Radcliffe’s win offers a powerful counter-image to the incapacitated female with child, namely, the pregnant super-athlete who has a uterus that boosts athletic performance – a clear advantage that males lack.

Liz Ditz
I Speak of Dreams ( http://lizditz.typepad.com )
More Joy in Your Family ( http://lizditz.typepad.com/more_joy_in_your_family... )
lizditz@gmail.com

Personally I think that it is an issue that is both larger and smaller than women's perpetual need to compare and complain. I just think that we are a society who only looks at "victory" as something big and grand and that precludes everyone else. I think we all need to step back and look at the countless little victories in our day.... I was kind to the pizza guy, even when he was late and really rude. (A victory of manners over temper.) I kept working to finish a project even though I really wanted to go to sleep. (A victory of intent over inertia.) I snuggled my daughter extra long even though it meant I didn't get to do something I wanted to do. (a victory of love over tasks.)

Life's a marathon. The only people who don't win are the ones who don't play.
___________
Alyssa Royse
JUST CAUSE
make some good news!
www.JustCauseIt.com ( http://www.JustCauseIt.com )

Are men who are not elite athletes posed such inane inquiries? Are they subjected to these out-of-whack comparisons with international rock star jocks?

I think not. Hell, I KNOW not.

Anyway, my dear Mir, thanks for thinking I'm "inimitable", though I believe that my unique qualities are more along the lines of "she's so (ahem) unusual." And, that would be uttered in a cautious, not exactly endorsing way.

Grace Davis
Contributing Editor
And a mother who went hiking 5 days after giving birth.
State of Grace ( http://gracedavis.typepad.com/ )