On Marriage Equality

This is a big week. The Supreme Court of The United States is hearing arguments this week to determine the constitutionality of Proposition 8 and the Defense of Marriage act. People (including me) are fired up on both sides.

Try mentioning marriage equality on Facebook and see what happens. Better yet go to some of the pages dedicated to it and start reading the comments. Inevitably you find people fighting about whether or not gay people are born gay and what the bible says or doesn't say about it. But guess what?

We shouldn't even be having that conversation in relation to marriage equality. It’s all smoke and mirrors and positioning and assholery. Say what? Oh yes. It’s true. Our opinions on how gays come to be gay don’t mean a thing when talking about marriage. It serves to get people all excited and sweating (pun probably intended) and distracts people. It causes those on both sides to dig in their heels and scowl. It makes people read blogs (guilty) and watch MSNBC. Because people love to watch a brawl, don't they?

But it’s all moot. Because marriage is a legal contract. However you make it sacred is then up to you to do or not do.  And since we are lucky enough to live in a country that separates church and state,  the bible and religion can not apply to this. If they did I wouldn't be able to roll up on an afternoon to a drive-thru "chapel" in Vegas and get married by some drunk dude dressed like Liberace. Making a marriage sacred is a personal decision on top of the legal contract. Not the other way around.

My ramblings/ word barfs/ general up-in-arms-ness points are these...

1. We all choose to live in the United States of America. And that means we have chosen a free society. One that doesn't use religion or the government to oppress people or to strip minorities of rights (or never recognize them in the first place). Well at least it’s supposed to be. We are just not all the way there yet.

2. But I hope that we will be. I even have faith that we will. And that we will soon stop the insanity of this conversation and get to the business of righting this. Because people and children are being hurt by the government.  Because the government has no business telling you how to be married to a consenting adult. They have no business telling you that you cannot be a subservient wife or a polygamist ( oooh I went there!) or gay married or straight married or divorced or wearing hammer pants. I am freaked out by a few of those things but it is not my right to take away yours just because you do things differently than I do.

3. My marriage is not "lessened" by anyone else's marriage. It's not even lessened by those pimping themselves on The Bachelor. Though I want to kick all of those “hopefuls” for a rose in the shins and take some gentle cleanser to all that eye make-up. I digress, ahem,  your <insert major religion here> marriage is not diminished by my Unitarian Universalist marriage.  If it is then your marriage probably wasn't that great to begin with. 

4. The definition of marriage has been changed throughout history like eighty-seven hundred times. Or at least fifteen times. Somewhere between 15-8700 times. And seriously, can we just stop the bullshit about definitions? Nobody gives a rats butt about definitions, let's be honest. It's not about that.   I mean, they demoted Pluto to some non-planet thingy and I was all, "Wait, what? The definition of Pluto is that it is a planet! You can't change that! Pluto is traditionally known as a planet and all of my understanding of the solar system depends on Pluto being a planet" but they changed it anyway and I somehow lived through it. <- worst analogy ever but whatever. Definition shmefinition.  It's already been changed, dudes. 

5. Some think that it would just be a tragedy if the Supreme Court overturns Proposition 8 because it is "the vote of the people" but you know what? Those same people probably believe in the Constitution (just like I do) and a people's vote is invalid if it takes away the rights of others. We could also talk about how no one "took them away" because they never had them to begin with. Yep. That sucks just as much. Instead I'm talking about the very first big promise from the law of our land. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for ALL Americans. All. Of. Us. The LGBTQ population has the constitutional right to pursue their happiness just like I do. Just like you do. My available liberties and your available liberties must look the same. How is this even in question? 

<puts note cards down>

In conclusion, It’s time to let consenting adults marry each other so that we can move on and do whatever it is we do and be whoever we are and love whoever we love and stop getting up in each other’s business. Because it suuuuucks that we are still talking about this. All my un-equal by law GLBTQ  friends and family just want to get married and have families and have it mean what it does to the rest of us. Sweet Christmas, it is TIME.

One love. It's in your hands SCOTUS. I have faith that the times they are a changin'... 

How do you think the SCOTUS will rule on marriage equality?    


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