Marriage vs. Pornography vs illness that lead to depression and loads of stress
This is the List of my Life! Things to know about me.
- I'm a mommy of a wonderful little 4 year old boy who is so lovable and loves adventure!
- January 22, 2009 was my 5th year of being married to my husband who is very handsome in class A's, outspoken, workaholic and a tad bit cocky but very giving and that's what I love about him.
- Me and my husband are both in the Army and have been since 2003
- Things have been a rollercoaster in my home but are slowly improving
- I want to be a stay at home mommy. I feel like I'm doing my son wrong and he deserves to have better. I don't want him to have to watch his parents deploy every other year to Iraq it's heart breaking.
- Over the last year I've had a problem with severe nausea and vomiting that has hindered my life greatly and no doctor can seem to figuere out whats wrong with me. To date I've been put through tourture as follows:
*3 Blood tests or more weekly
*CT Scan with and without contrast die/charcoal fluid test
*MRI Scan with and without contrast die
*Gastric emptying test
*stool samples and endless urine samples
*Medications out the wahzoo
- These tests have cause me to start losing my hair from all the collective radiation not so fun. Of course being sick for over a year caused me to go into severe depression, deffinently not so good. So add all the doctors up and this is what you get:
general surgeon+liver and digestive health specialist+3 Phychiatrists= hell
- The army is thinking that maybe this stress is killing me so I'm hoping they will just let me out. I'm exausted, sick, stressed and my family is suffering from it.
- I work ALL the time-the army never ends.
- Not so sure my hubby is attracted to me anymore since I constantly find him looking into porn sites vs loving on me. It's been a hard gulp of reality that I'm trying to face. After awhile of complaining I just gave up. I'm to ill to even fight anymore. It's not helping my depression any though. It hurts my feelings so bad. I just wish I could tell him that.
- My people at work are getting annoyed and don't understand why I'm sick all the time hence adding more stress to perform and alot mre headaches from hearing them bitch about it.
- I goto work All day long come home make dinner while my husband and son take off sometimes not even staying for dinner to hang out with friends while I sit here looking at four walls. This has become a not so fun event but I don't tell him about it. I'm scared to lose him because he gets mad when I bring it up. He calls it "controlling" and his friends have that drilled into his head I guess. Thus I guess I'm lonely.
- I have no friends not because I can't have them but I've been on this post forever and some of the women here have gotten me into alot of trouble in the past. So I try to avoid them. I just met my husbands soldiers wife and it hasn't even been a few months and chaos has errupted at her place so I deffinently avoid the drama. I have enough stress. I don't need to add that on my list.
- this is deffinently not all but for the moment it is. This is a good place to vent about how I feel.
- Thanks for Reading-The blogher virgin :)
More Like This
Recent Posts by soldier85
Most Popular on BlogHer
Most Popular on BlogHer
Recent Comments on BlogHer
Switch to mobile view.