Marriage: Wasted on the Young?

Everyone loves a wedding, but does everyone love every bride? Although women from all walks of life and at any age get married, the stage is set for the young. How does an older bride get her day to be special when bridal web sites pander to the young and foolish, rather than those who have the wisdom to begin anew later in life?

May Your Hearts Beat in Sweet Unison


There is a saying that "Youth is wasted on the young." Reading recently on BlogHer, it occurs to me that perhaps, rhetorically speaking, marriage is wasted on the young. When I read how many problems young married couples have, it seems like the lofty goals anticipated for marriage don't always lead to the happy homes intended. People grow and change, sometimes growing together, sometimes growing apart. The levels of maturity can vary along with all of the skills that it takes to successfully navigate through family finances, illnesses and life and death transitions.

So, although the natural order of things is to marry when young and start families, it would seem that marrying later in life would not only be better targeted for success, but would result in more satisfying unions built on a mature realization of what life is all about. In other words,marriage isn't really wasted on the young, but rather, marriages occurring later in life should be celebrated with more fanfare, not less. In other words, when it comes to marriage later in life, both the bride and groom go into it fully informed. They have arrived!

But, see how older brides are treated. Google "older bride" and take a gander. One web site made it clear that older brides, instead of just planning for a lovely celebration, must also defeat their possible constipation along with that of their groom. What!?!? Having enough probiotics for the digestion is for everyone, not just older wedding parties. I can't imagine confusing late in life nuptials with late in life dietary habits. Don't young people have constitutional issues? Do we interrupt the ambiance of The Magic Room to inquire of the bride and her father if they are eliminating regularly to avoid bloating on the wedding day?

Portlandia's Spyke and Iris plan their Cool Wedding


What other advice can we gather for older brides from bridal web sites? Well, first and foremost, older brides are told to be tasteful. Never mind that some young brides overestimate the tensile strength of satin to conceal one Big Mac too many and others bag "blushing" while wearing outfits more suited to pole dancing. Bridal sites somehow feel age relieves one of common sense. Why does an older bride have to be told she needs to be tasteful? While young brides are promoted as princesses with every detail to their whim and fancy, older brides are begged not to offend.

The older bride is far less inclined to wear something tasteless, by her very nature. "An older bride in a young and sexy dress will not look right," one bridal site intones. Many young brides, however, do not "look right" in young and sexy dresses. And since when has it become fashionable to tout your sexual allure on your wedding day anyway? What happened to being demure with a veil to seclude the bridal blush? When did bumping and grinding down the aisle get established so guests can sample what the groom will soon cherish as his own?

And just what do these nagging bridal sites think older brides are going to choose? The G-string Wedding Dress shown recently by Kavia Gauche at Berlin Fashion Week? Oh pa-leeze!

May Your Lives Be One Glorious Sunset


All in all, older brides need to be choosier in selecting their bridal sites for advice. While many "lesser sites" may point to giving away bottles of Milk of Magnesia as table favors, Martha Stewart reigns supreme in the older bride arena as well as in all others. On her web site, Martha receives an e-mail from a 60 year old bride inquiring what would be "right" or politically correct for a bride of her age having her second wedding. Martha answers that except for a veil, the rules of etiquette are the same and TIMELESS for a bride of any age. There you go. Taste is taste and class is class no matter the age of the bride and groom.

 

NaBloPoMo January 2012

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