In Marriage, What Is More Important Justice or Love?

In Marriage, What Is More Important Justice or Love?

I remember when I was younger and dreamed of having a wedding and finding my great love. I knew that I wanted a family one day, however my perception of marriage changed after my parents divorced. I was one the kids in my neighborhood who had a two-parent household. Unfortunately, this was a rare occurrence. So when I found out that I'd be raised by my parents in two different households, I was crushed. I thought to myself, if they didn't make it, then I probably wouldn't. At this point a partnership seemed like a distant dream. I began to see marriage as a coming together of two people and the woman would primarily have to do a whole lot of work - both inside and outside the house. I despised the fact that I would have to work both outside and inside the home. Why was it solely my responsibility to cook, clean, rear the children AND work hard outside the home? I would cringe inwardly when my mom would comment on how I had to learn how to cook and clean because I'm a female. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and she is a strong, smart and compassionate woman. I just didn't agree with her on that point. I felt that as a woman, I should have rights in my marriage. I didn't see anything wrong with a relationship where both parties could be responsible for working inside and outside the home. I mean we are this in this together, right? As I learn more about Islam, I am understanding that women have many rights in a marriage. The Media would have you believe otherwise though. Most of the time, the images that adorn our t.v. sets and computer screens are of women covered in Niqab (covered from the eyes down), in some type of face mask or a hijab - the coverings both Nuns, Catholic women and Muslim women wear. Many times we hear horrific things happening in countries with a high population of Muslims. In certain movie plots, Muslims are often terrorist. It's safe to say that Muslims are under a microscope and a lot of the opinions of others who are not Muslim can be negative. I've read many comment sections of a news article where those who choose to practice Islam are insulted, disrespected and accused of terrible things. Women in particular, are labeled as oppressed. “God commands you to render trusts to whom they are due, and when you judge between people, judge with justice…” (Quran 4:58). This quote is derived from the Quran and explains how one must uphold justice for all people, whether you share the same religion or not. In the holy book, there is a parable that tells of Ali Ibn Abi Talib (Radiallahu taala Anhu) and a Jewish man. Ali Talib (RA) was in the marketplace and saw his shield was up for purchase. He exclaimed that he lost his shield in battle and that it belonged to him. The Jewish man selling it replied, "it is my shield and it is in my hand." Ali Talib (RA) was a Khalifah at the time (a leader) and could have seized the shield by force, however he didn't abuse his power. He took his case to a famous judge at the time. Ali Talib (RA) only had two witness - who happened to be his sons and this was a conflict of interest. The Jewish man was asked to take an oath and he professed that the shield was his. The judge ruled in favor of the Jewish man. As they walked out of the "court", the Jewish man became a Muslim on the spot because he was treated so graciously and fairly and offered the shield back to its rightful owner. Ali Talib (RA) stated that the shield was now a gift to a Muslim brother, in other words Ali Talib (RA) let him keep the shield. This is a beautiful example of justice. The verdict was not rendered in Ali Talib's (RA) favor just because he was Muslim. Justice was served. I type all this to say that women whether Muslim, Christian or any other religion have rights. I understand that men and women both have specific roles that they play. However, these roles do not bind us. Religion shouldn't be used as a mechanism to hurt, abuse or take advantage of a woman or vice versa. Men and women both have rights. Marriage is a commitment to love and respect your spouse. It doesn't mean that disrespect is tolerated. It means that the woman has a right to have her own thoughts and express them. She has a right to ask and be assisted when the need arises. It is permissible for the man to cook and clean as well. We all deserve justice first then love. I doubt anyone wants to be abused and hurt in the name of "love." In my book, justice and love are both imperative. What are your thoughts on my post?Do you agree or disagree?
Salaam and Peace!
Remember, keep it cute and classy!
Source: YouTube, Ali Ibn Abi Talib & The Jewish Man By Sheik Shady Al Suleiman.
Farida T. Dawkins

U.S. Air Force Reservist and Blogger

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