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by April Daniels Hussar, for BettyConfidential.com
The email arrived about a month ago from a friend of mine ... The Martha Stewart show is looking for people named April for Martha's ALL APRIL show on April 1st!
Why, I thought, giddily, THAT'S MY NAME! How about that? I eagerly
clicked the link and filled out the ticket request form. I will confess
to you, dear Bettys, when it came time to answer Do you subscribe to any Martha Stewart Living publications? I, like a total and complete idiot, opened up another browser, subscribed to Martha Stewart
Living, and then went back and clicked the YES box. I know. LIKE THEY WOULD REALLY CHECK.
I should probably say here ... I have a complicated relationship with Martha Stewart. (Of course, it's made even more complicated by the fact that she does not have a relationship with me, at all. Hi, Martha!)
Prior to my SUBSCRIPTION, I did indeed buy her magazines now and then.
When I was planning my wedding, I pored eagerly and lustfully over the
exquisite perfection on the MS Wedding pages. In fact, my mom and I
modeled my own handmade wedding dress off one we saw in MS Weddings. I
even once applied for a JOB at MarthaStewart.com. So yes, you could say
that I'm a fan.
On the other hand, I am also not a true fan, because I find the
aforementioned exquisite perfection, well, distressing. Even if I
didn't work full-time, I would never, ever, EVER find the time to
appliqué hand-blown Easter eggs. I just don't have that gene. So, much
like perusing the pages of Vogue makes me feel fat and poor; perusing the pages of Martha Stewart Living makes me feel sloppy and lazy. You see the dilemma.
But I digress ... I WAS GOING TO THE MARTHA STEWART SHOW! When I got
the email confirmation, I felt like Charlie with the golden ticket.
First off, they wanted to know if I had a story to share about how I
got my name.
Hmmmm.
Well, I was born on April 18th.
So .... Yeah.
I emailed my mom and dad (who have been divorced just about my
entire life - naming me was pretty much their major collaborative
accomplishment) to see if perhaps they could come up with a better
story, one that would set me apart from all the other Aprils that were
sure to be there with April birthdays.
Dad wrote:
Because T. S. Eliot called April the cruelest month.
No. I have always loved the beginning of spring.
Martha Stewart is a criminal.
(As you can see he missed his true calling as a comedian.)
My mom wrote:
OH MY GOSH! Because you were born on Easter and because your dad forbade me to name you Rose!!
(Thanks, Dad!)
Ok, well, whatever, I was going to not only be in Martha's hallowed
studio but surrounded by APRILS. What a wonderfully bizarre way to
start off my favorite month - the obviously superior month.
The day dawned. I had been instructed via email to "dress to impress" - which apparently in TV-land means NO LOGOS (darn,
there went my plan to wear my "ARE YOU READY TO BETTY" T-shirt, send
millions of Martha fans to BettyConfidential.com, and immediately
become the Betty founders' favorite person. Foiled!), no black, no
white, and lots of BRIGHT colors. So basically I had nothing to wear. I
settled on a cute dress and boots with a bright fuchsia cashmere
cardigan that - dig the irony - I originally bought last year for my
MarthaStewart.com job interview! I know.
I
arrived outside the Martha Stewart studios in Manhattan as instructed
at 8:30 a.m. I made friends with the April to my left, who, as it turns
out works for COACH (Hi April, remember me? Your new best friend?).
She was not born in April. Neither were the two Aprils right behind me.
But the April in front of us was - in fact THAT VERY DAY was her
birthday. "Is that why they named you April," she mocked, and I heard
myself in her exasperation.
YES, PEOPLE, THAT IS WHY THEY NAMED US APRIL.
We made our way inside, where, after passing through security, we
were handed bright yellow Lands' End raincoats and nametags that read,
"HI MY NAME IS ... APRIL." I know. Of course, I had to update my Facebook status immediately:
8:46am - April Daniels Hussar: is at the Martha Stewart show with a bunch of Aprils! All Aprils! Too bizarre.
9:03am - Susan L: Fun! Where are u
