Masculinity Made Simple?

Every now and then, I read a blog called The Art of Manliness. It’s part of my ongoing research into what the hell drives men to do the things they do. You’d think that having three brothers would have enlightened me, but I’m apparently not a quick learner.

This particular blog is fascinating because the author tries to take fairly outmoded concepts of masculinity and reapply them in a modern context. A recent post called Be a Modern Knight: Protecting Your Lady in the 21st Century caught my attention, largely as a result of all the porn discussion around LadyBlog recently. Among the codes of behavior he advocates?

“Quit watching porn. When you turn to porn to get aroused, you send this message to your lady: “You are cute, but when I really want to get excited I need to look at women with cantaloupe sized breasts” Your lady, and her alone, should do if for you. And she should know that in her heart.”

What’s really fascinating is the debate in the comments section. On the one hand, you have men making the rather absurd argument that watching porn is part of being a real man. On the other, you have some men making that case that porn only harms relationships.

Porn is really a great weeding-out tool in the dating game. Because if I have to tell a guy to stop using it because it makes me uncomfortable, especially if he refuses because porn is such a huge part of his masculinity, there’s probably a whole lot of other things we aren’t going to see eye-to-eye on.

And just in case you're totally sick of hearing about porn, go check out your vintage dress of the day (week?), courtesy of Balenciaga and the Met.