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A certain presidential candidate once claimed that it took a village to raise a child - but how much of your village do you want to involve in your grown-up love life?
Friends and family sometimes do help get relationships kick-started, whether it's with an intentional, elaborate set-up or a serendipitous introduction somewhere along the way. Obviously we don't live in vacuums and nor is that where we meet people. The people in your life know you and they also know people, some might even be people they think would be perfect for you. Yes, you - YOU you, sweet embraceable you, the single person who would like to hang out with another person, and doesn't seem to be getting that accomplished on your own - at least not at the rapid pace your office neighbor or best friend would prefer.
You probably know someone whose friend, sibling, co-worker or neighbor was instrumental - intentionally or otherwise - in connecting them with their significant other, or this might even be the case for you. My friend Marit, one of the most prolific Flickr'ers I know and a very talented graphic designer (with a specialty in wedding invitations, naturally), met her boyfriend through a neighbor. Who knew? They probably didn't, but all it took was meeting through people they both liked and had a lot in common with, and sweet history was made.
But that was an in-person thing. It's pretty easy to introduce friend A to friend B and see where things go from there. Online dating has been a traditionally more one-to-one enterprise, although I've known people who posted or helped to edit profiles for friends (with permission), took photos, or otherwise participated in sprucing up a loved one's online calling card (not to mention "just happening to show up" in the bar or hanging furtively around the restaurant just to make sure the match isn't scary or unbearable.) Now Match.com, one of the standbys of the online dating world, is formalizing the friends and family role with "Match My Friends". (Here's the British version - love the "Cupid vs. Fate" image there.)
Picture by me, hosted on Flickr.
"Why not give these singles some support?" Match asks. After posing this potentially loaded question, they take you to a list of people they think you'll do a great job matching up:
Your brother, sister or cousin, who might benefit from a larger pool of dating prospects. Your good friend who lives far away and could use a boost in the dating department. A friend who went through a divorce or breakup and is ready to start dating again. Co-workers, or even your mom, dad, or a grown child, if you have a "we tell each other everything!" relationship.
I tell my mom a lot of things, but I don't want her trolling Match.com for me, and when I heard that an acquaintance's dad was doing that and leaving promising profiles on the table for her, I believe I said "Ew." Might be for someone else, but not for me, which might be as much of a function of my aversion to online dating as anything (another post entirely, trust me.) For others less opposed I thought it might provide just the backup they need to take the plunge. So as soon as I learned about this service, I wanted to see how it worked. I dropped a note to several of my single friends, asking if they'd be my guinea pig partners in friend-matching crime.
I thought they'd all tell me I was crazy and to go away and leave them alone until I had a good idea, so I was really surprised when several of them e-mailed me back almost immediately to say "Hey, sure. Sign me up."
These people wanted me to write their profiles, and with my help they were willing to give online dating a shot. Even though I'd made it very low-investment, such that they could delete their profiles as soon as I figured out how it all worked, they didn't seem to care about that. So I got to work, thinking maybe there was something to this after all. Maybe I could swing it as an online Tevye, fiddling on my laptop. Or something.
With reality matchmaking show/trainwreck Rock of Love II replaying in the background, I sat through a mildly alarming intro video on Match with spokespeople Greg and
