Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match!

No, I’m not trading in the Mr. yet but I tried my hand at a little matchmaking this weekend! Will I be making a side career out of it? No. In fact, I may
be able to go out in public without too much scorn but I think I’ll
wait a few days before emerging from the safety of my home. And
hopefully, the Mr. won’t be trading me in!

It all started on Friday night. (insert flashback sequence here) I saw
that a shop owner was selling air conditioners for a very low price to
make room in his shop. Hmmm the price was so low I just had to phone!

To my delight the gentleman selling them sounded like such a lovely,
Irish bloke! He was so kind and genteel sounding, I offered to buy the last five units he had
(these usually sell for £2-300 and this price was so low I just
couldn’t let them go!). I immediately thought of my MIL, also Irish
(and hmmm single!), who could use one in her house during the 3 hot days a year summer heat wave (should we have one) and of course I could offer them to other unsuspecting 
family who may need, as well. And whilst thinking of the MIL, the
memory of this lovely Irish gent kept nagging me. Why not arrange to
have them delivered to HER house and then we can make arrangements for
anyone interested in them to come collect them there? Seemed a win/win
situation for everyone! And well, just maybe MIL and Irish Gent could
meet! Wow! I’m a genius!

So, I phoned him back and asked if it was too far to deliver them to
hers? Not at all! What a lovely chap he was! I could hardly wait to see
how things turned out! And well, since the MIL lives in a little bit
nicer neighbourhood, Irish Gent could move to hers after the wedding.

As I searched the internet for ideas for wedding invitations, the Mr.
rang. He was on his way home from work and asked if we needed anything.
Hmmm, let’s see… something old, something new, something borrowed, and
something blue maybe? Of course, I was excited to share my brilliant
plan for everyone’s happiness and the beginning of world peace with my
darling husband! (insert screeching to a halt sound here).

The Mr. wasn’t as keen on ‘hitching’ his mum to this ‘seedy shop owner’
as I was and the thought of his mum marrying made him feel unwell (my
MIL is a lovely, Christian woman – though at times she acts more like
Marie, from Everyone Loves Raymond – I refuse to comment on how much
like the rest of Raymond’s ‘family’ we all resemble as well.). I hoped
he’d have a change of heart on the way home.

Well, he didn’t. In fact, he had time to think about the fact I’d just
purchased FIVE air conditioners and the fact they were being delivered
some unknown time on Saturday at his mum’s by then. Of course, it was
too late to phone the lovely man back at his shop so we had plenty of
time to ‘discuss’ my meddling and interfering and my poor purchasing

The next morning, the Mr. tried desperately to phone the shop to cancel our order. He’d decided we could buy one
from him so he wouldn’t feel quite so badly but he didn’t answer. I
happened upon his web site and realised he had a mobile number listed.
At this point I probably should have mentioned this to the Mr. but the
romantic in me held tightly to the hope that my ‘dream’ for my MIL
would be realised.

So, it seemed urgently necessary that we all go spend the day at my
MILs. This seemed fine to me, we had planned to stop in anyway, this
would be lovely, it would give her time to spend with Little Poppet and
we could enjoy a change of scenery. Off we went 'to Grandma’s we will

Well, things began to go even more pear shaped when we arrived at the
MIL’s. She was in bed with a migraine. Great. This just wouldn’t do. I
urged her to get dressed and she’d feel much better. Um, no. she was
fine just sleeping in her room in her dressing gown. She did come out
to say hello but then rather grumpily went off to bed.

The Mr. felt it imperative to mention the deliveries but at this time
was just as terrified of her as I was. He asked her if she’d like an
air conditioner? She thought that sounded like a great idea. So, he
said that the shop was going to be delivering it some time today. She
thought that was fine but asked the Mr. to handle it so she could stay
in bed.

This just wasn’t how I had imagined it at all. That and the Mr. was too
chicken to mention that along with her new air conditioner, four of
it’s mates were going to be delivered to hers as well.

Five free-standing air conditioner units weighing in at 25k each, with
the accompanying hoses, etc. all in her front hallway. Not sure this
will go over well without the impending romance as a bonus so um… I had
to think of something and FAST!

Well, the Mr. offered to go to the shops for her to get her some
migraine medicine since she was feeling so unwell so I’d have to get
the door when the man arrived (chicken!) (and why is it I can ask for five days for an aspirin and his mum doesn’t even have to ask???).
As soon as he left I quickly phoned the man from the shop to see how
soon he’d be round with the air conditioners. Oh, he was so lovely! I
had such lovely visions of him as Little Poppet’s new Granddad!

Well, soon enough the Mr. returned. He had decided he was going to talk
to the man before he came inside to tell the man we were only going to
keep two of them since MIL wanted one but to give back the other three.
Even if he was charged a penalty we just can not fill up the MIL’s
house with air cons. I was mortified of what Irish Gent would think of
me and this was seriously putting my matchmaking in danger (yes,
actually, I was
still thinking of this). So, I sent a text message to Irish Gent. I
will admit, it wasn’t my best idea but I was keen to know what was said
and wondered if I was going to be the sacrificial lamb in this
conversation. And really, it wasn’t all my fault, was it? well, actually…

The text read ‘My husband needs to talk with you outside
when you arrive. I thought you should know, he is very hard of hearing
and hates wearing hearing aides so you will need to speak very loudly.
Thank you so much for being able to deliver this far away!’

Well, the Mr was getting a bit anxious the longer we waited and I
seemingly became less and less clever during the wait and a worse and
worse business person. I really did think it would be easy to get the
rest of his family to buy these air cons or at the worst case scenario
sell one or two on ebay.

Well, as I heard what sounded like a van driving slowly outside, I
assumed it was Irish Gent and his travelling air conditioners trying to
see the numbers on the door so I went into the kitchen to alert the Mr.
I explained to him how nice this man was and to please be nice to him, and oh… by the way, he is terribly deaf. I explained he’d need to speak VERY loudly to him. Genius I tell you.

So, the Mr. jumped to his feet and quickly ran out front to meet Irish
Gent with the news. I sat at the table in the front room so I could um…

The first words I heard were from the Mr. nearly actually
shouting at the man asking if he was the man from the shop. Irish Gent
shouted back that indeed he was. They shook hands and I, trying not to
laugh sat back to have a listen.

The lovely man shouted to my husband about the terrible time he had
finding the house and the wrong turn he took. He very loudly apologised
to the Mr. and hoped it hadn’t inconvenienced us. Well, the Mr. began to feel terrible, even if I didn’t know him so well, all of London
I could hear it in his shouted response, telling the man that he felt
badly he’d had to come so far and it had taken him even longer!

By this time I was nearly crying with laughter at the conversation. I
imagine everyone within earshot (which was a significant distance) was
wondering WHAT ON EARTH was going on! It was so loud that the MIL came
out of her room to ask what the trouble was outside. She assumed it was
someone in a punch up or something. I held my face in my hands laughing
uncontrollably as I tried to explain that it was the air conditioner
man and her son outside having a lovely conversation about the man’s
journey. Little Poppet just stared at me as if I’d lost my mind. At one
point she tried to laugh along but just wasn’t getting it so she gave
up and went back to playing.

Well, the Mr. mentioned that maybe he didn’t want to sell them all to
us and would understand if he wanted to let others buy an air
conditioner from him at such a price. Well, Irish Gent had received
plenty of phone calls requesting them but had turned them all away so
we could have them. The Mr. sighed at this point and offered to help
him in with them. As they were looking in the back of the van, Irish
Gent mentioned the air purifier he had in the back that someone else
had ordered but changed their mind. He also had two air coolers (they
use cool water to cool the room rather than the air conditioner) that
had been returned, as well.

By now, some neighbours and passers by were stopping to see who these
two nut jobs were shouting to each other in the street about air
conditioners. At this point, I had to take a break and use the loo. All
that laughing and the tall glass of juice I’d had earlier had made it
impossible for me to sit there listening. Good news for all, however,
as I soon realised I was still able to hear the conversation from
inside the bathroom!

Well, once the air conditioners were all inside (including two that the
Mr. hid in the upstairs empty room that the MIL uses for storage) it
was obvious that the Mr. was moved with compassion for this lovely
gent. So, he offered to buy the remainder of the items on his van if it would help him get home in time for dinner.
Did you know that the air coolers are nearly as large as the air
conditioners? The air purifier is only about the size of a small tv so
no worries there. The air coolers are also hiding in her spare room.

Well, MIL never did come out of her room to meet the lovely man but he
did promise to return with the filters for the air purifier since he
didn’t have them on the van as he wasn’t aware he was going to be
selling it. So… maybe, just maybe!

Finally this exchange of heavy boxes of metal and shouting that could
be heard for miles came to an end. The Mr. watched Irish Gent climb
into the driver seat of his van and as he was, he was making a phone
call to someone, I hope it wasn’t his wife. Of course, he was no longer
shouting and this was a bit suspicious to the Mr. This was fine,
though. It gave us something to ‘discuss’ on the way home with our ONE
air conditioner and the air purifier.

Now, I just hope Irish Gent doesn’t deliver the air filters whilst she
is on holiday this week. That would really put a damper on my
matchmaking attempts. Well, that and if he has a wife. I suppose that
wouldn’t fit in my fairytale either.

You may be wondering about the two hidden air coolers and the two other
air conditioners. They are still in hiding, all of them and a bag full
of hoses. We have one week to give away or sell them before she comes
home. Oh, and well, I’m not allowed to ask for/buy/sell/speak to/think
about anything online/in the post/a leaflet through the door/sign in a
shop window/an offer in my spam folder/over the phone ever. Not ever. 

Um… so, anyone want to buy a new air conditioner? Cheap?


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