53 days until baby is due
It's official. I am on maternity leave. What does that mean for an out of work actor? Basically, I guess it means I can now do the things that need to get done in my life that I somehow felt guilty
doing since I wasn't working or able to find work. So now, instead of scrolling opinionated facebook posts and weird craigslist ads, going to interviews for temp jobs where I am over qualified yet unemployable because of the bump in my belly, I am now free to blog at my heart's content, maybe write that novella I had started but not finished, and shoot a short film about...what else, maternity leave!
I looked up maternity leave on Urban Dictionary. That was a mistake. It seems men have a confused idea as to what maternity leave actually is. They think it's a paid vacation, a chance for our vagina to heal from childbirth. Admittedly, I had always assumed the latter, until yesterday when my midwife told me I should scale down my work activities and switch to part-time or begin looking into taking my leave early. I'm 37, so apparently I'm a complicated case. Men think it's a paid vacation. I suppose if you have a job it is. A wonderful vacation filled with insomnia, a small human living inside of me kicking my ribs HARD, and gas, heartburn, unquenchable thirst and the inability to exercise full tilt while you watch the scale creep up higher and higher. Seriously, the guys that think that maternity leave is a vacation may need to review their idea of a good time. I do not want to party with them when this is over.
My placenta previa migrated, which is great, but before migration, it put me out of work my second trimester. I was working to support myself as a bartender, then when I could work again, I was entering my third trimester, and pregnant Hollywood bartender just isn't a thing. If we were going on boobs and skill I would be fine, but now I get tired a lot and apparently the belly terrifies the average Hollywood drinker just looking to keep their childhood alive a few years past 40. My bump makes the average drinker rethink their consumption as my appearance could be viewed as a cautionary tale if they aren't careful. Personally, I think this is a good thing, but your average bar manager just isn't into it.
So for extra money during the previa days, I worked as background on some television shows as a pregnant lady. As an actor, working background can be really tough, especially after you just played a lead character in a feature, a low budget feature, but it's still hard to take that demotion, no matter who you are. Now even those "roles" have dried up as the fall television season comes to a close and I'm really left with nothing to do and no money coming in.
My husband and I on The Mindy Project. He's a petroleum engineer. I like that he plays along sometimes.
I suppose in a way, this is where I learn to get humble. In my entire adult life I have been able to work and I have worked. I have hustled a buffet of odd jobs and always stayed afloat. Sure, it has gotten tight at times, but I could usually throw on a pushup bra and get out and find a job slinging drinks or working as a promo model. Someone posted on facebook a derogatory remark about beautiful women being stuck when they have to use their brains after their looks fade. I guess I am in the boat right now. I have been able to slide on my looks for awhile, but what happens when your brains and your beauty are pushed aside and you are told you just can't work? Then what do you do? I'm almost finished watching both seasons of Don't Trust the Bitch in Apt 23, almost through both seasons of Extreme Couponing, and I don't have much on my agenda past that, outside of my creative endeavors I listed above.
I will miss you Chloe!
You too, stockpiling hoarders!
So, here we go. Maternity leave. I will blog about whatever is in my head. Coupons, daytime talk shows, baby products and more will be rolling through my fingers as I type about unfamiliar feelings and unusual happenings. Yesterday I had a breakdown. Gone are the days of living without a care. I'm happy for that, but I'm also a little nostalgic for the vapid days that stacked one on top of the other in LA, where everyday is the same.
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