A matter of time
I am totally okay with not working, unemployment has benefits. I have zillions of hobbies and passions to fill my day. I get up early, I have a routine, I take care of myself and make sure that I get dressed every day. These are some of the things that people warned me about when I was recently (actually not so recently) laid off. I never would of imagine that four months into unemployment I would still be sending out my resume to potential leads. Jobs are lame but I like to get my hair done, buy new dishes, drink good coffee and bling out my bike. These are things that you can do with a job, I have a sweet little sugar daddy right now, no need to shed a tear.... it is just not the time to have time.
I have been keeping track of every location I have applied to, the list is too long to admit. What is the deal? Really, am I ever going to find a job? I have a college education, I am not creepy, I am pleasant to be around most of the time....
Maybe someone is just waiting right around the corner, sees my potential and wants to write a book with me. An apprentice sort of thing. RIGHT? I thought so too.
I have been lucky enough to have an incredibly supportive husband that has been patient while we relocated and I find an illusive decent job. He puts on a happy face after a long day and makes an effort to take me out. I try to understand what he feels like working long days in the middle of the desert, cleaning up nuclear waste (he avoids the field, we want to have kids in the next couple of years). In all honesty, if I were raising our children, had some high paying stay at home job, or was going to school, or writing my book that is going to make me famous all this house time could be justified. At the end of the day he is tired and over worked and I am like a puppy that has a bunch of energy. We make do, I get unemployment benefits. Now is just not the time to have too much time.
I told my massage therapist that J got a job and is on reactor fuel recovery and she said he was doing the Lord's work. I laughed. The comment still makes me laugh, I don't think she really thought about that one before it slipped out. Or maybe she did, I didn't get into it, this is the location where they built the atomic bomb. I don't really enjoy such heavy debates. He is doing it for us. That is a big deal.
While looking for a job I have had a couple months to do a little soul searching, and I have found some pleasant things. I have fell in love with my blog, escaped and found comfort in writing, relaxed, fall increasingly in love with my husband, our dog relies on me, and I left my home town (big deal folks!) and made the time to go back and spend time with the people that I really care about and found that people care about me as well.
Life is never a simple story. There are high times and there are mine fields. Strikes and gutters.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
Michelle Stiles writes at The Beauty of Life