When Dr. C mentioned the "H" word 10 days ago, I thought she had forgotten that she was on the phone with me.

No, doc, I am not calling to talk about having a hysterectomy. I am 37. Remember? I just want to know how my ultrasound looked and then I want to get back to not thinking about you for the next year or so.

Now that we have cleared that up let's move on to the real important thing - my results. What? Wait...you really did mean to say the "H" word to me?

When you say that I have an 'issue' that is best corrected by major surgery, are you sure?

Don't you hear the sound of silence on my end of the phone? I like my cervix and my uterus. I mean, I've never seen them, but since I know they are there - I think I would like to keep them if for no other reason then they are attached to me...with whatever it is that your insides are attached to you with.

They have been with me through childbirth, divorce and vacations to the beach. How will I be the same without them and why are they choosing to go their own way now when I am supposed to be rebuilding after a divorce and preparing for my baby to head of to college in less than a year?

I really don't have time for this. I need to be focused on so many other things. Who am I? What do I like? Where do I want to go and what do I want to be when I grow up?

Not this. I don't have weeks to recuperate. I don't want A to come home from school and not see me. I don't even want Britney, the 19lb wonder cat, to worry about me - or how she will be fed.

I just want time to work through all that has happened this year and try to find a way to feel okay. A hysterectomy is not in the plan right now. Nope, it really isn't.

A few days after the phone conversation with my doctor, I go in for a check-up and she gently and patiently walks me through the 'hows' and the 'whys'. We'll do the surgery sometime before the end of the year. I'll be fine and perhaps even better the before. I'll find a way to see the humorous side of this and I'll go back to writing because sometimes, that is the only sane thing I do consistently and semi-well.

A will spend an hour on the internet showing me what I have and telling me I should get the surgery, like, yesterday. Then we will head off to Sonic to take our minds off of our most pressing issues.

Through all that is bad - when I don't feel like depending on someone else because I don't want to be a burden - A is there to make me watch things like iCarly and to be my GPS system through the streets of New Jersey.

That's what life is about and that is why the surgery is needed...so we'll have many more years of doing nothing together.

For now, I am off to find what's funny about being 37 and on the outs with my own body. I KNOW there is something funny about it I just know it.