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As a woman who would do pretty much anything for a good (or any) orgasm, I understand the lengths a woman may go to for a little pleasure. It shouldn’t be that way, but gosh, you know how men can be.
Here’s a perfect example. I just got off the phone with my friend, Louise, seeking advice for a particularly tricky problem involving a new vibrator and her boyfriend, the doctor.
Said vibrator, which amazingly I have not yet tried, is called the WE-VIBE (http://we-vibe.com/). It’s a horseshoe-shaped device designed to stimulate the clitoris at that same time as it vibrates the G spot. Talk about a double hitter. On top of that, you can have intercourse. The WE-VIBE is coated in a soft, cushy plastic for comfort.
Sounds like the makings of a perfect threesome, except for the little problem my friend described.
“Frank won’t go near the we-vibe,” Louise said sounding defeated. “He hates it.”
“What’s to hate?” I said surprised. “It’s a vibrator, Weezee, not another man.”
“I know, I know,” she said. “I tried to hide it from him but he found it by accident.”
“Are you sure it was an accident?” I said suspiciously.
“Oh yeah,” said Louise. “I was ransacking the house, looking for my cell phone charger the other day. Suddenly Frank walks up to me with a charger dangling from his hand. I grabbed it from him, looked at it, and without thinking, yelled, ‘That’s not it! That’s for the We-Vibe!’”
“Oops,” I sympathized. “Vibrator out of the bag. What did he do?”
Louise took a deep breath and continued. “He said, ‘Oh.’ Then he said, ‘What’s a We-Vibe?’ After I told him, he got all weird and defensive. Honestly, I think his ego is bruised. I guess he thinks having a big penis is enough.”
“Frank’s got a big penis?” I asked shocked. “He’s such a little man.”
“There’s no correlation, you know,” Louise said matter-of-factly. ”Anyway, it’s not that big and it’s definitely not big enough to reach the clitoris.”
Dear reader, you see the problem here? Many guys think it’s all about their penis. Even the ones who know better — Frank is a medical doctor for goodness sake. What’s a gal to do?
My advice to Louise was simple.
“Retreat to the bedroom,” I explained. “Turn on some sexy music making sure it’s loud enough to be heard in the next room. Then start playing with the We-Vibe yourself. Make sure you’re wearing some lingerie, with your panties down around your ankles, as though you couldn’t wait. Throw in a few ‘ohhh’s’ and ‘ahhhhh’s’ and presto, he’ll come running.”
“And then what?” said Louise yawning.
“What do you mean, ‘then what?’” I said. “He’ll get so turned on watching you writhing in pleasure, he’ll forget all about the power of his magical stick. Until of course you order him to ‘finish you off.’”
“Do you really think it will work?” said Louise cheering up.
I reassured her that it couldn’t fail. I had tried something similar not long ago only I had really been caught by surprise. Yes, it takes some guts. But what’s worse, never trying for something better or supporting his silly illusion?
