Me and MY Muffin Top

Well, this weekend i returned home to visit family. To my already alterted self image it occured to me that in my home town i am known as being the short, fat, ugly sister. This really hurt my feelings as every where i went with my skinny, golden tanned, in my opinion, over makeuped sister, the people we ran into were commenting on how she is the beautiful one. Now with all that being said i am sure you can hear my anger threw the words above. 

I have always been over weight and when i did get down and starve myself to be skinny like her she said i looked nasty. Now what do i do in situation like this?? I am not a "healthy" eater. I am not motivated to run 5 miles and the funny thing is she doesnt even excercise. She sleeps all day stays up all night and eats garlic bread with spaghetti sauce and cereal by the pounds when she does eat. I am upset about this and i am sure their are other women like me. I just dont know what to do. How do i become healthy. I want to be healthy not sick. I want to feel better about myself and see my grandkids one day. I dont think taking on her diet is the best thing for me to do even though i seriously have thought about it to see if it works for me like it does for her. This is also emotional for me. I cant imagine what people really say about me and what she probaly says about me when i am within ear range to hear it. Dont get me wrong i love my sister. Im just tired of being the ugly duckling. I dont even like going to visit with her cause it makes me uncomfortable about my self image. How do i get over this. I am not a beauty queen i am a mother, a wife, and a best friend. I want to help others but in order to do it right and honestly i need to help myself first. Any suggestions?


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