Me and Pam at BlogHer '10

One of the all time highlights of my BlogHer’10 experience was meeting Pam Spaulding of Pam’s House Blend. I have admired her work for many years. I visit her site several times a day for updates on the state of LGBT America from a progressive point of view. Pam is an African-American lesbian who is really rocking the blogosphere. And I’m one of many people who think the world of her.

As stated on her website, she launched Pam’s House Blend in July 2004 as a personal response to the anti-gay state of the political landscape. Her website now averages 120,000 visitors a month (you go girl!).

Pam’s House Blend is ranked in the top 50 progressive political blogs. Michael Rogers, editor and publisher of gay blog “Pam is certainly the most important lesbian blogger in America. She’s a lesbian in a gay blogging world that is overwhelmingly gay men. She’s a blogger as a woman in an overwhelmingly male-dominated world and she’s of color and the internet is so skewed to the privileged.” So what is not to love?

She has provided commentary on CNN during the 2008 presidential election cycle, and contributed to and participated in a gazillion progressive political forums. Let’s face it, she is seriously impressive.

Anyway, I knew that she was going to be at the conference but since I had never been, I didn’t know what to expect. I didn’t know if I would get the chance to meet her. I mean before the conference began I asked myslef: would all of the speakers be cordoned off in an exclusive green room? or would they be separated from the blogosphere minions, like me, by a velvet rope?

Imagine my surprise when I ran into Pam Spaulding exiting the exhibit hall. I am not exactly shy, so I ran up to her and said, “OMIGOD, I am one of your biggest fans! I go to your website several time a day.” And then I thought to myself, “okay, that was stupdi, Eva. Here we go…”

But she turned out to be one of the nicest, sweetest, most down to earth people that I have ever met. She was warm and supportive. When I told her about my infertility, my blog, and my adopted son, she encouraged me to keep blogging to tell my story. She said that I had an important perspective, as a lesbian, to share with the world.

“You think so?” I said in the midst of about 2400 other bloggers who also consider their stories important.

“Yes,” she replied.

And that ‘yes’, really made my day!

I told her that I wrote anonymously and that I was nervous about showing my face on my blog and she encouraged me to take my time but that it would be valuable if I could be more visible. So she empowered me to  take a picture with her to post on my site.  And  if you see any additional  pictures of me on this site, it’s thanks to Pam (thanks, Pam!)

I also asked her what strategies she used to build her site in such a competitive environment and she gave me some tips, encouragement, and an wonderful opportunity.

She encouraged me to create a diary on her site  in which I would write about infertility and adoption from a lesbian perspective and boy do I have lot of material, starting with some of my experiences  with wacky doctors ,my crazy insurance fights, and some never disclosed adoption teachable moments. She said she would promote it  (fist pumps!) So I have been reflecting on my experience , and thinking about what fresh stories I want to tell about my life as a lesiban infertile and adoptive mom. That series will start soon, so stay tuned.

At any rate, I just wanted to reiterate something that I’ve been saying for a long time about this community. The blogosphere, with all of his drawbacks, is a great place. For example, I’ve cried over the life stories of people that I’ve never met; shared information about the intimate details of my reproductive organs that I would never even share with members of my own family; and I’ve found my “voice”– something that I struggled to find for many years.

It also provides opportunities to meet incredible people.  It is always a thrill to meet a blogger, particuarly, one whose blog you’ve followed for years, who really exceeds your  in real life expectations; and that was certainly the case for me when I met Pam Spaulding.


I write about infertility, adoption and lesbian motherhood at The Egg Drop Post

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