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Donna Schwartz Mills writes about life in Los Angeles at her personal blog, SoCal Mom and is currently a contributor to CBS Local Digital Los Angeles...
 
 
 
 

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Meghan and Cindy McCain on Hate Campaigns, Sexism in Politics, and the Tea Party

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At the California Women’s Conference last night, Senator John McCain’s daughter Meghan and wife Cindy held a freewheeling conversation about the current state of politics in this country, and the need to get more women involved, especially younger women.

“I think for our generation it’s no longer an option not to be involved,” said Meghan. “Our generation is the first generation to look out into the future and not see a future that is as bright as the one my mother had. It’s scary. We’re being left with a national deficit that is quite literally bankrupting our grandchildren. It’s no longer an option.”

Cindy and Meghan McCain at California Women's Conference

But Meghan is not a member of the Tea Party, and laughed about her recent appearance on Meet the Press, when she referred to Christine O’Donnell as a “nut job” (“Not the best way I could call her,” she laughed).

“I think unfortunately, what the Tea Party has done is you put these candidates up that are seemingly a national mockery,” she said. “As a woman, I take particular offense to it. We have lots of strong women out there that are more than capable of being kickass Senators. I don’t think Christine O’Donnell is one of them.”

Meghan’s political views are well known, thanks to her campaign blog, Daily Beast column, best-selling book and many television appearances. But Cindy McCain –- who gave very few interviews in 2008 -– was something of a blank slate to me.

It was easy to project my own preconceived notions on her, as a Pat Nixon-like political wife, standing quietly beside her husband in a “good Republican cloth coat.” Last night, Cindy McCain turned my prejudices around.

Cindy McCain, left, speaks with Meghan McCain at the Night of the Village as part of The Women's Conference in Long Beach California on October 25, 2010.  UPI/Lori Shepler Photo via Newscom

“In my opinion, there’s no room for hate anywhere in politics and I’m very frustrated with what’s going on right now, particularly with all these races now," said Cindy. “It’s as nasty as I’ve ever seen it in politics, and I go back to the days watching Tip O’Neill and Ronald Reagan settle issues that were very important to this country, over a cocktail in the White House. That may sound a little trite, but it’s absolutely the way it was done, and it was a very civilized, gentlemanly way to do it and I don’t mean –- not to make it sexist, but it was a good way to do things.”

Cindy and Meghan both discussed gender differences in politics, motherhood and how women are treated by the media.

“A lot of female candidates this season ... they’ll say I’m a mother first. You notice that male candidates don’t do that, or don’t have to do that,” Cindy said.

Meghan concurred: “I think it’s interesting it’s becoming such a big issue for women now with this candidacy that’s going on in Colorado; one candidate saying that because she’s a mother of six she’s more qualified than this other candidate who is not a mother. I think what’s interesting for my generation is motherhood and being a wife is a lot less emphasized. I’m 26 years old and I don’t really have a lot of that are married let alone have children, so for me it’s not a big deal.”

But Cindy thinks it is important.

“Motherhood gives you a certain perspective on life that other people don’t have, and I think it’s a very important perspective,” she said. “So I think as a candidate, I think it adds an extra dimension to the person that’s running and it gives them an opportunity to look at issues; particularly issues that affect the globe, and I’m talking about poverty, hunger, things that I obviously work a great deal with. I think it’s a very necessary perspective.”

Meghan was asked if she thought female candidates could be both smart and sexy.

“I really hate the idea that no matter what you feel like about women like Sarah Palin and Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton –- their looks come first in any kind of political discussion. ... This is something that I continue to fight against,

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Lisa Ann Schaefer 5 pts

Claiming that motherhood gives superior insight to the things that are currently dominated by men (business, technology, politics) is precisely the attitude that keeps mommies as outcasts. It keeps men from feeling responsible for raising the children, and keeps women in the kitchen.

theoutcast 5 pts

Maria,

I definitely hear you. To be fair, even though my blog surrounds the priorities that Motherhood has put into perspective for me personally, I believe the responsibility of caring for someone else can give a person an equal perspective. Whether you're caring for a parent, disabled sibling, or have an adoptive child -- to have a person completely reliant on you for everything truly gets you thinking about things.

Most people get that experience through Motherhood so it's easier to cast that net. Unfortunately not enough people who make the big decisions in our world have had those kinds of experiences.

It's the personal investment in being a parent (by birth or adoption) that makes a person desire to move mountains and reprioritize the future in a way that people who do not have child ever have to think about.

Women generally are empathetic and compassionate but it was my experience that being a woman didn't scratch the surface of what Motherhood taught me.

Generally men and women (non-Moms) have similar needs and expectations about their futures. But what Mothers want and need for themselves and their children are very different. I dealt with that inner conflict about this personally. In fact, I wrote a post about my "Ah-Ha" night, "The Night I Almost Killed My Motherhood".

As divisive as it may seem on the surface, I have found it important to draw the lines in the sand of the person I was and the person am now, a Mom.

Did Motherhood give me special, superior insight that qualifies me to run for office?

It's not the only thing, but it's the most important thing so I have say -- absolutely.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

Maria Niles 5 pts

Heather, I hear you on how unfriendly the world is to moms. Becoming a mother doesn't mean you lose your brain and have nothing to contribute and too often women have been treated that way. I'm all for raising awareness that mothers are a force to be reckoned with and for mothers vocally and forcefully adding their perspective to public discussion.

And I have no doubt that a life changing event like becoming a mother profoundly alters your perspective.

However, claiming that motherhood gives you some sort of special, superior insight that better qualifies you to hold office or do anything in life other than parent your own children is offensive, dismissive and judgmental of other women and deeply painful particularly to women who have for reasons such as infertility been unable to become mothers (in a way of their choosing.) Can't we, as women, as mothers and non-mothers help end the craziness by not creating yet another parenting war?

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles ) PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer )

theoutcast 5 pts

We need so much more of this. A well-written article to boot!

Maria, I have to agree 100% with Cindy on this. Motherhood gives you a perspective that being a non-Mom never will. I was awakened to that fact one night. I posted about it on my profile "The Night I Almost Killed My Motherhood". Please feel free to read it.

I had not realized how un-friendly the world is to Moms until I became one. I firmly believe that the craziness we see in the world today directly relates to the lack of maternal perspective and influence.

It's time for a world takeover and I mean that.

Heather blogs about Motherhood & Other Offensive Situations at http://www.ultimateoutcasts.com.

Maria Niles 5 pts

Not on your report, Donna. This is excellent and I thank you for sharing. But on the subtle non-mom bashing from Cindy which is a pet peeve of mine.

“Motherhood gives you a certain perspective on life that other people don’t have, and I think it’s a very important perspective,” she said. “So I think as a candidate, I think it adds an extra dimension to the person that’s running and it gives them an opportunity to look at issues; particularly issues that affect the globe, and I’m talking about poverty, hunger, things that I obviously work a great deal with. I think it’s a very necessary perspective.”

Does she believe that her daughter lacks the "very necessary perspective" to understand issues of poverty and hunger? I'm not a mother and yet poverty, hunger and homelessness are issues that I've worked a great deal on but I suppose I don't really have the same ability to truly grok the problems because I'm not a mother. Or can you be a figurative mother like Teresa? And what perspective does fatherhood bring? Does her husband understand these issues or does she have to teach him very necessary motherhood empathy?

But +1 for Meghan for pointing out the fruitlessness of trying to engage in this form of "mommy wars" in the Colorado race. Hopefully Cindy was listening.

BlogHer Contributing Editor ( http://www.blogher.com/blog/maria-niles ) PopConsumer ( http://consumerpop.typepad.com/popconsumer )

Jill Miller Zimon 5 pts

Thanks so much for writing this up - I really enjoyed reading it. For one thing, Meghan McCain really sounds like the smart, politically active but not left of center friends I have - rational, clear-eyed, based on this planet and in the sense that hey folks, this is a democracy - we're supposed to keep our country government working, even if our party or philosophy is not the majority.

Cindy sounds as though she's trying to be of the 21st century and downplay her privilege a bit and you know, what are you going to do? She is who she is I suppose - at least she is out there. I would say it's not clear how much John speaks with or listens to her on some of these things though!

Thanks again - very interesting.

Jill Writes Like She Talks ( http://www.writeslikeshetalks.com )

In The Arena: Jill Miller Zimon, Pepper Pike City Council Member ( http://jillmillerzimon.blogspot.com )

thewritingmother 5 pts

I'm glad to see great conversation happening about women in politics. It really is true that looks, affect, personality, body parts are brought into conversation a lot more often with female candidates than males.

If we could remove that petty part of discussion then a lot more actual dialogue could happen.

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www.redwritinghood.ca
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