Amber

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The Quest Begins Anew

As many of you know, I've written about adoption before, once in 2011 and once in 2012.Yesterday, my mother asked me, "are you still planning to look for your birthmother?" It was an innocent question, she told me later, after I went and found all the paperwork that might just get me the information I have been craving underneath the surface all this time. Her question opened up something that I've kept on the back burner and I thought, well, no time like the present. Dad agreed me with me, saying, "now is probably a good time, they're getting older now."...more

O Canada and the Campaign for Change

I love my country's national anthem, but it seems a group of esteemed Canadian women do not. They believe it should be gender neutral, meaning they want to line "in all our sons command" changed to "in all of us command." In 1913, "in all our sons command" replaced "thou dost in us command." On the news, they said this was done to honour those in the military. This group, however, says that there was no documented reasoning behind the change and therefore, if it was changed once it can be changed again. This isn't the only thing people have wanted to change, though....more

Of Decisions and Life

Back in September of 2011, I was 23 and looking hopefully toward the future I planned out for myself. I was excited to go to post-secondary school. I wanted to get my professional life started. I wanted to learn to be somebody. In January of this year, I began to doubt myself. I wasn't - am not - doing well in one of my classes. I was upset and scared. I was put on academic probation with the words "you may be kicked out of school" hanging over my head. I made so many calls to my parents and even broke down in class and I never cry in front of anyone....more

Of Friends and Fake Friends

I entered my first lecture of this semester, praying I'd finally meet a friend I would properly mesh with. I kept telling my mom in the summer "I've got English classes, I'll be with my people!" I was right it turned out. So right. But I didn't just make one friend. I made several (was a by-product this because of my summer in Italy where I broke out of my shy shell and made so many friends and did so many things outside my comfort zone?). We were all united by our "geekness" and I currently follow two of them on Tumblr. Look at that....more

"The Casual Vacancy": Not Exactly A Review

The minute I got the hands on the proper funds, I bought The Casual Vacancy on my Kindle. I devour any books by my favourite authors and felt sure Rowling wouldn't disappoint me. I was nervous because she was in a niche as a children's writer. I was nervous because other authors have felt the need to hide under a pen name when they leave their niches. I applaud Rowling for not doing this. All the same I was in for a shock when I started to read it....more

Dealing with Suicide

I know three people who committed suicide. I've had friends threaten it. I've dangerously brought myself to a place where I, too, thought about it. Never could I imagine doing it, but I'd be lying to you, the reader, and to myself if I didn't admit to it. I am a happy person, though. I like seeing the good sides of people. I like taking care of people and giving them advice. Nothing makes me happier when I see someone smiling and enjoying themselves. I don't need to be the cause. I just like people to be happy....more
Sending hugs, prayers, and just as much positive energy as I can muster.   "People will leave a ...more

Same Song, Different Relationship

I recently had to end a year long friendship. I didn't realize a friend could break your heart like that when you realized you were only being used. He contacted my best friend via Facebook and immediately started hitting on her. She relayed the conversation to me, making me realize exactly what was going on. I remembered how he kept asking me for pictures of every female friend I ever brought up and "can I meet her if she comes?" and I think of how for a few months, I had a crush on him....more

Forever Shy

Whenever it gets close to my birthday, I become instantly prone to analyzing my whole year and what I can do better. Did I take enough risks, did I do the right things, did I call my grandmother enough and do I need to be a little easier on my mother are some of the things I think of. A year before I turned 18, I was so thankful high school was almost done and I just wanted to be 18. I was so over 17, I remember it quite well. 17 seemed like the most annoying age back then. This year, on Wednesday, (April 18th) I turn 24. It's a bit difficult to believe. I'll be 6 years away from 30....more
 @victorias_view Thanks!   Last time I went I got one. This time, I'm getting a prepaid credit ...more

I Hope You're Happy Now

I've been thinking a lot since my debut post about adoption. My brother and I talked about it (he actually divulged he has now lost that once irresistible desire to meet our birthmother and his birthfather), both wondering about people who thought adoption meant your parents didn't want you. What these sort of people don't seem to understand is that it's a very difficult decision....more
 @@BehavioralChild If I ever do meet her, I'll definitely let you guys know her story.   Thank ...more

Fast Car Worries

I spent just a little over a week in my hometown over my break from school. My brother has a flashy BMW that he is super proud of, so he likes to take any opportunity to drive it. I thought "no problem, he can drive us to the pool" when he said we were taking his vehicle. I drove with him when he first got the vehicle and always thought he was a good driver. However, there and back he went at least 20 kilometres over the speed limit and the road was not bare. He also didn't stop at two stop signs, saying there were just suggestions and should really be yield signs....more