The Armchair Performer

I’m Caila, nice to meet you.  I’ve run the gamut as a performance artist in Chicago, New York, and now San Francisco. 

I don’t know why I have the proclivity to publicly splay myself, but it’s been there since I was little, and I get depressed as all hell when I stop. 

That was starting to happen, and I’ve been whipping some projects up and had too many ideas churning not to slap em up somewhere… 

I've blogged in the past, gotten too hypersensitive to continue, resumed, stopped, but I feel ready for at least another bout. 

my official blog website is www.armchairperformer.com  but I'm excited to be on Blogher to be part of a blogging community and whatnot

Oscar Like Thing Acceptance Speech 2009!

I tend to get painfully jealous of the Academy Award Winners.  I quelled it this year with an acceptance speech for an Oscar Like Thing of my very own. ...more

How I Spent My Valentine's Day. Full Story!!!

Most of the story, anyway.  Took place over 5 hours.  Details must be lost in the wash. I packed a backpack, suitcase, and the 5 foot canvas heart to bring to the space–(the Mission Cultural Center for Latino Arts). ...more

How I Spent My Valentine’s Day. Part 2–Movie Date!

February 15, 2009...more

How I Spent my Valentine’s Day Part 1.

I did it!    ...more

On Being and Matter.

I got a haircut today. This is a basic act of human maintenance, and I enjoyed it at points but also got a weird feeling similar to that of eating chicken and fishes at the same time. I thought about being a piece of matter, how my hair is all of these dead cells that the body sort of excretes as the kind woman combed my hair, which had grown long FAST. ...more

Self-centered Vapidity Unleashed!

I post ads on craigslist at times pointing them to this blog, as I’m interested in it being seen.  Today, I received 3 comments from an individual (one was an accidental double-submit, but it packed an extra punch!)  Basically, the gentleman told me my (he put the quotes in) “work” is futile and vapid, and to please give up being an artist because I have nothing to say, and my work is thus improper and “Not good enough!” ...more

A Sheep In The Flock.

  I’ve historically detested these surveys.  I’ve gleefully ranted against them, and now I am doing one.  Too many people I like tagged me on facebook, and I actually enjoyed reading theirs, so I said “well.. Ok.  If ya really, truly want to know.”  I said that aloud to myself whilst looking in the mirror. I wrote 24 things–it took some time, mind you!–and then my internet shut off, and I lost the whole concoction.   ...more

Hospital Restaurant.

This is the most bizarre thing I have seen in awhile.  Stumbled on the link. A Latvian Restaurant with a Hospital Theme. ...more

The Therapist Game.

The Therapist Game. Back when I drank, I used to love to play the Therapist Game. I’d get whoever I was talking to at a party to lie down and tell me all of his or her problems, and I’d stroke my chin and say “mm hm, mm hm” a lot and “it sounds like you’re feeling [fill in the blank]“. ...more

Preparing for A Valentine's Day Spectacle. I need your help, Bloghers!

Send me a Story of Love gone Awry! (or amazingly well) Hi, fellow Bloghers!  I am looking for love gone awry horror stories or amazing synchronous love stories to read in public anonymously on Friday the 13th immediately prior to Valentine's Day.  I know we all have at least one of these...   The following is the ad I posted on Craigslist.   Dumped by your fiancee in the middle of the Old Country Buffet via payphone?   Dream about a particular stranger for years, then finally meet the exact person..? ...more

16/365: Valentines: Yeah, well, I don’t really like more