I'm Tired of Being a Mom

I was sure that motherhood was going to be so fulfilling. I mean, yeah, I knew it would be hard, but hard in a being-super-brave-through-tough-times-like-Florence-Nightingale sort of way, not hard in a grinding, miserable, I-hate-my-life way. Surely I would come out of those long, desperate, sleepless nights glowing with motherly love, just happy to have been able to offer my screaming child even a modicum of comfort. Surely I would be happy to sacrifice any and everything for my kid. Surely I would never, ever resent him....more
Everyone always talks about how much they love being a mom. I think it's because they aren't as ...more

Dispatches From the Dark Side: My Battle With Suicidal Feelings

Trigger warning for talk of suicide If I was writing about almost any other health issue, I wouldn’t hesitate to post this. If I had diabetes, or cancer, or liver failure, you wouldn’t feel strange reading this. If I started out by saying, “I went to the hospital last night because I had the flu,” no one would think twice. No one would call it oversharing. No one would make me feel like I should be ashamed or embarrassed. But I didn’t go to the hospital because I had the flu. I went to the hospital last night because I wanted to die. ...more
@bellejarblog I am here for you if you need me ever, ok? just drop me a line and we can exchange ...more

Dear Wil Wheaton - Only YOU Can End Mansplaining

Hi Wil,I know, I know, this is the second open letter I’ve written to you in, like a month. And I know, you didn’t even read the first one, even though I poured my heart and soul into it, and tweeted about it extensively (and by extensively, I mean “obnoxiously”)....more
@Denise I dunno, MAYBE HE WILL (probably not though)   And thanks! I told my husband to thank ...more

Abortion and Down Syndrome

First of all, let’s get one thing straight: I am not in the business of judging women for when and why they choose to abort. If you’re only going to take one thing away from my blog ever, please let it be that.Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I have something that I want to talk about.I want to talk about the fact that, according to some studies, an estimated 90% of fetuses that receive a prenatal diagnosis of Down Syndrome are aborted....more

Feminism and Abortion

I like to think that there aren't a lot of hard and fast rules when it comes to feminism. I think you can be married and have kids and be feminist. I think you can be single and childless and be feminist. I think you can be a stay-at-home mom and be feminist. I think you can be a working mother and be feminist. I think you can breastfeed and be feminist. I think you can formula-feed and be feminist. I think you can wear cute dresses and pretty pink lipstick and a giant fucking bow in your hair and be feminist....more

What It's Like To Live Here, Part II

You start to think about hitting rock bottom, what that means, what it would feel like.You picture it like this:You’re walking through the woods, along the same path you’ve taken a thousand times before, and suddenly the forest floor gives way beneath you. You fall, for what seems like ages, until you hit the ground. You look around and discover that you’re in some kind of underground cavern. The walls are smooth, the hole you fell through far out of reach. There’s no way you could ever get out on your own....more

Isn't This Funny? A List of "Ugly" Feminists Including Jessica Valenti

This week the website Return Of Kings (which I had never heard of, but I’m sure is super important and relevant) published their list of The 9 Ugliest Feminists in America. My first thought was: What, they couldn’t find one more ugly feminist in order to round it out to an even ten? My second thought was: I wonder which pictures of me they chose for their post? Everyone knows that I am at least the third ugliest feminist in North America. ...more
First of all, you're in no way ugly no matter what the mean 12 year olds said. Secondly, these ...more

My Life As A Tree

Have you ever seen a kudzu vine? They’re all over the south, their bright green leaves waving gently in the hot, humid air. At first you’ll think that they’re kind of pretty, but once you realize that they’re capable of, you’ll never look at them the same way again....more
@bellejarblog Hahahaha. I shall think of him as a kraken slayer. ;-)more

What It's Like To Live Here

You feel like Miss Havisham, trailing around in your shredded, filthy wedding dress, pacing through the same rooms over and over, past the mouldering wedding cake and the long-dead flowers. And as much as you want to blame someone else, you know that you’ve only yourself to blame – not for the fact that he jilted you (although of course you wonder), but because you can’t seem to move past this one defining point in time. Your whole life will be the moment you realized that he was never coming....more

That Time We All Had The Plague

On the days when I think that God might exist, I’m convinced that if he is out there, somewhere, he is some kind of divine troll who thinks that everything is an elaborate joke.How else do you explain the fact that, five minutes after posting my last entry, Theo started throwing up all over my bedroom floor.It’s like God reads my blog and he was like, “Girl, you think you are in crisis? Let me show you crisis.”...more