Ron Mattocks

Rocketed to stay-at-home-fatherhood by a doomed economy, I am a strange visitor from a planet known as Corporate America where I once was a business executive.
 
As a child I was raised in rural, western Pennsylvania by loving parents who instilled in me a sense of Small(ville)-town values. Leaving home, I sought adventure in the big world as an Army officer and gained understanding with a degree in English Literature.
 
Along the way my many exploits have included:
 
- being the first student in the second grade to write an award-winning account of the Iranian Hostage Crisis
 
- dating an actress considered as the Korean film industry’s equivalent to Winona Ryder (and no, it wasn’t Yunjin Kim from Lost)
- getting into a full-out brawl in front of (then Texas governor) George W. Bush – he seemed quite amused by the whole thing
 
- surviving a semester studying Female Novelists as the only male in a classroom full of Femi-Nazis. (It was like being hunted by the Amazons on Paradise Island. Showing up with a shirt that said, “Kill ‘em all, and let God sort ‘em out” probably didn’t help me any either.)
 
- working for a Fortune 500 Company whose CEO I bumped into at an exclusive club in Vegas as he was flirting with a couple, fine young sirens. (I think the round of Patron tequila I sent his table saved me.)
 
- running into George Clooney at a donut shop in the wee morning hours (Well, not really, but it makes for a great piece of fiction.)
 
But the adventures that top them all are my marriage to my “Lois Lane,” and being a father to my three sons and two step-daughters. In dealing with issues like balancing the checkbook, peanut allergies, ADD (2 kids, Lois & me), male depression, blended families, divorce fall-out, long-distance parenting, and parental alienation, I require powers and abilities far beyond those of mere mortals.Fatherhood, where I have to change out the empty toilet paper tubes, wash clothes with my bare hands, and who, disguised as “Clark Kent,” mild-mannered freelance writer and author of a great metropolitan daddy-blog, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way!
 
Be on the lookout for my book, Sugar Milk: What One Dad Drinks When He Can’t Afford Vodka (www.sugarmilkbook.com). This collection of humorous essays about my unexpected journey from hot-shot executive to stay-at-home dad flies into stores in late summer of 2009.
 
- Ron

SHOTGUN!

 When my sisters and I were kids, there was no more heated battle than who got to ride in the front seat on the way to school. Being the oldest, I felt this provided me an unspoken entitlement to the position. Nope. Our dad let left it to whoever called it first. ...more