Holly

I used to be a semi-non-famous blogger. Until I wasn't.

I can count to potato. Just don't ask me to show the equation on paper. I don't do that. Also, I can't count reliably.

I like unicorns and llamas. But not enough to wear them on t-shirts. Well, maybe llamas.

I have two children who despite having me for a mother, have turned out both normal AND wonderful. *Note: I've used the term 'normal' very liberally here. They currently attend school in Canada and MAY GOD BLESS THEIR TEACHERS AND ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SUFFERED ALONG SIDE THOSE TEACHERS. AMEN.

I was born in a forest on an Island in Canada, raised by wolves (might be a slight exaggeration) until moving to England and attending an all girls diocesan school. In case you were wondering? That went well. But only the opposite.

Life brought me back to Canada...where I was suitably married, procreated, worked in the legal field, and divorced. All on the 'other' side of the Rockies. The side where it snows pretty much all year long. And people cook and eat each other because long term snow exposure makes you do that.

I found my monkey and moved to Scotland. Because he's Scottish. And it made more sense than moving to Zimbabwe given the circumstances.

I'm currently living in love and in Glasgow trying to navigate my way through the language and culture. So far, I've learned how to blink in a very intricate pattern that makes people speak slower and more understandably. I'm close to copyrighting that. So don't steal it.

I'm occasionally succeeding at fitting in, but mostly just making people never want to visit Canada.

Craptastically Fantastic

I feel like I should be doing much more writing than this...all of a sudden life has happened and things are being cast aside. Things like time to write and laundry.Travel wise I/we have been all over the place lately. There was a three day break up to the highlands, Inverness/Nairn/other places I can't pronounce. We saw the Falls of Shin...which weren't very...fall-ie...but still pretty. I think living in the Rocky Mountains for *insert FAR TOO LONG* kind of skewed my perception of waterfalls. And mountains....more

Lowlands....and Highlands....Kind of.....

Seeee? I did manage to edit some photos in my post-party haze of ouchness. I am FAR too old to be up at 5am. Whether it's still up or just up. Either way...no likey. Here are the photos from Kelso...which I loved. Hard. It is the cutest little town....if you ever go down head right into the town square. It's cobbled...so don't wear heels....more

Fantastic pictures!

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also blogs at more

Autumn in Scotland

Thick as autumnal leaves that strow the brooks In Vallombrosa, where th’ Etrurian shades High over-arch’d ...more

I was lamenting with a friend how everything turns brown so quickly...Love the Photos! more

Lice, Leonardo and Why I'll Never Poke a One Eyed Gypsy in her Last Eye Again *BAD LANGUAGE WARNING*

A group camping trip from 2009 remembered....with horror.... As of right now I'm not sure whether our trip was cursed, or if it's like a total group curse from which we'll only recover if we sacrifice a chicken in a blizzard - or something. It started off with me being released from work 2 hours early and heading home - thinking, oh yeah!...more

An Open Letter to Martha Stewart

Dear Ms. Stewart, I don't want you to take what I'm about to say in the wrong way. I give you full props for your perfect little empire. Well, almost perfect. There was that little stint you did in....well, you know....more

She is the Betty Crocker version of all the Ken Lays and Bernie Madoffs out there ripping off ...more

Ways In Which My Crotchfruit are Awesome - LORD I miss them....

The Boy: "I may be just a little boy, but I'm not crazy mom." (I may have been trying to convince him that my truck runs on the sweat of raccoons at the time)The begged me to play a Prince song in the truck. And then totally rocked out to it. Then I ruined it by giving them a history lesson on the religious references and viewpoint of the church the song is written about.The boy drinks soy chai latte with me. This alone will keep him in the will....more

Therapy Bills Climbing...and Climbing...(Flashback to May 2008)

Even though this will result in my son being beaten on a regular basis upon entering high school, there are some words he mispronounces that I refuse to correct him on....more

Maybe it's just like a jackalope, but bigger.

Contributing Editor Karen Ballum also ...more

Letter to Apple and Steve Jobs...with swears. And stabs.

Dear Apple ITunes Steve Jobs, Please to fuck off and die. You make me want to stab myself in the face with a penguin. Your updates make me cry. I could probably forgive you for the monotonous never-ending PC V Mac commercials with that guy Drew Barrymore is sleeping with. Wait....OK that's alot of people. You know? That guy from 'Live Free or Die Hard'? The computer geek? Whatever. She's sleeping with one of them. And it's not the guy from the John Stewart show. I don't think he has sex. Like ever. But these updates? Do you want a run-down of my evening?...more

FLASHBACK From the 'Other' Blog - Dear Daughter (10 August 2009)

We did a little back to school shopping for daughter on the weekend. I didn't even go into the kids section.That made me cry a little.She is a size 00 in women's jeans. And medium in tops. And she's 12 (almost).Also? The hormones....more

September 17, 2008 Flashback - That OTHER blog

Wednesday, September 17, 2008The Longest Time out. Ever....more