Jess Watsky

Old-school oenophile and law student whiles away the hours not studying or applying to law school writing for the website Foodette Reviews. Sarcasm and snark abound. In her spare time, she enjoys tinkering with molecular gastronomy, whipping up a mean burger, and harassing her Siamese cat. 

My Blogs

Beer and Wasabi-Glazed Roast Chicken Sushi Rolls with Kirin Ichiban

Note: I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of...more

McDonald’s Jalapeno Double

Praise the test market lords and demigods of saturated fat, we have a new burger! The Jalapeno Double features two beef patties, white cheddar cheese, jalapeno aioli, and both pickled and crispy jalapenos. I’ll give it to you in stock terms: buy now, and buy long ....more

Cheeteau, by Cheetos and Frito-Lay

Well, now I know why all my April Fool’s jokes were late. The post office hates me, and FedEx dropped something off that was a ‘restricted material.’ I was prepared for either delicious alcohol or a non-delicious subpoena, job offer, or scam check from a car decal craigslist ad, but was pleased to find a sample bottle of Cheeteau, the new fragrance from Frito-Lay. Now, I’m not a perfume blogger, but I gained a decent deal of perfume knowledge from my last ex, so alongside the real deal, let’s analyze the cologne ....more

Yöghund Apple & Cheddar Frozen Yogurt for Dogs

Woof! I perpetually suffer from what the French call...more

Chopped Pork with a Spicy Honey Nectarine Slaw

Summer is coming! Spring is here! I can wear shorts without feeling the need to amputate both of my legs! ...more

Wendy’s BBQ Ranch Chicken Salad

I had a number of things planned out for my future tombstone. Call it a list of superlatives, accomplishments. Things I wanted people to know about my life that seemed worthy of paying a person to painstakingly engrave into the marker of my final resting place ....more

Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee

Oh, Dunkin’, you sly minx. What are you, the Ace of Cakes? Or rather, some yet-unnamed ice-cream themed show on the Food Network that a young, hell-destined executive is dreaming of as we speak ....more

Nutffles Red Velvet Truffles

Oh, gas stations. Sometimes I forget how novel and wonderful they are. I’ll admit, having a car and paying my own bills and buying toilet paper, the harbingers of adulthood, has made me a little jaded ....more

Archer Farms Gyro Wood-Fired Crust Pizza

Where will Big Pizza stop? It seems like they’ll chuck anything on a crust for the world to listlessly chew, alongside their doughzac/pepperonazepam cocktail, while watching reruns of Honey Boo Boo. Just keep chewing....more

Guest Post: Mana’eesh

Cousin Plate-O is back again, featuring a classic Jordanian breakfast with infinite possibilities stuffed inside- for more of his adventures, find him at In His Majesty’s Scholarly Service....more