jelliott80 : MyBlogHer Profile

I'm sarcastic, but sincere.  I love words, cheese, dachshunds, Sharpies, and pajamas.  I lucked into a marriage I didn't know I wanted to a man who deserves someone far thinner, smarter, and richer than I.  I require polish on my toenails and a ponytail holder around my wrist before I leave the house, but otherwise, I'm pretty sloppy in appearance.  I am TV obsessed.  I require celebrity gossip to breathe.  I personify ALL inanimate objects, including my pituitary tumor (named Tina Tumor), and my broken cervix (Cessily).  I love nicknames and speech impediments.  I could eat chips and salsa until my stomach exploded, and much to the dismay of my mother, I have NO secrets.