Jen B-P

Being a mom is stressful enough. Then throw in some childhood cancer, a horse, and a blonde daredevil preschooler and things can be even more exciting. We live on a farm that we inherited and moved from the urban land of Chicago to the rural life of Central Illinois. The only horses we used to see were the ones downtown pulling tourists in carriages. Now not only do we own a horse, but we are also dodging goats and their head butts. We are learning to thrive in the country while keeping the city in our hearts. We live on hope and hugs since childhood leukemia came knockin' on our door.

Moving Beyond Childhood Cancer

Childhood cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children.  Our daughter, Zoe, was diagnosed with leukemia in September of 2010. Her chemotherapy ended December of 2012....more

Wear Your Big Girl Pants!

Sometimes I put on my big girl pants. I know I'm of the age for big girl pants because of my boobs. It's going to get weird, just stay with me... My boobs are now of an age where they need to be arranged once the bra goes on. Things need to be redirected towards the front. Ladies, you know what I mean, right? Don't go around saying "what on earth is she talking about?" because you are only fooling yourself and have yet to put on your big girl pants. What I am saying is that I've matured beyond the stage of perky boobs to being old enough to have gained knowledge, experience, and yes, sa...more

Hurricane Sandy and Childhood Cancer

My daughter, who is 7 years old, has been battling childhood leukemia since 2010. As I've watched the coverage of Hurricane Sandy and it's aftemath, I am compelled to compare a hurricane with childhood cancer....more

Fear Versus Freedom

 There are many fears to tackle when you have children. First is to get the kid out of your body with no harm done. Then to raise them into toddlerhood from infants. From school-age child to teen. From teen and into young adult. It's ...more

The Thrills and Spills of Childhood

I was recently telling Zoe and her friend about my experiences in grade school PE class. The days of dodgeball, tall and scorching hot metal slides placed on top of concrete, football games using a tennis ball conducted on asphalt. There were no safety mats covered in recycled rubber tire shavings, no care if you tore a hole in your jeans for the third time in a week, no worries that you chipped four teeth crashing your face into the asphalt, no problem at all if you got your skull rattled by a line drive half-deflated dodge ball thrown by the biggest kid in fourth grade....more

So Dope-Forming Consciousness Early

It's interesting to see how your child changes when she goes out into the world. How others influence so much....more

Staring Back...When Your Daughter Looks Different

My daughter was diagnosed with leukemia in 2010.  Besides the fact that she's still in treatment she's just a normal 7 year old girl... It's human nature to look at something you don't understand.To look longer to try to get an idea of what it is you are seeing.An extended gaze that often turns into a stare....more

A Good Drug

This is a post I wrote in July when our daughter, who has been fighting leukemia since 2010, was hospitalized with a fever... Leukemia has been in our lives for 22 months. You would think we would know what's happening by now. Know the ins and outs and feel the ups and downs before they happen. But that's not how sickness happens. It jumps out from behind a bush scaring the crap out of you yet again. You know it's there, but BOO, and you are on your back down for the count. Zoe has been feeling so well for so long....more

I've Become THAT Mom!

I've become "that" mom. That mom who embarrasses her kids in public. I've mentioned before to Zoe that if she wants me to I can call her at school everyday to see if she needs anything. She firmly says "NO!" We've told her that when she's in high school we are going to be the cow bell parents....more