Kelly Allan

I can be poignant. I can be funny. Sort of. What I'm really good at is couponing. Kind of. Well, anyway...I'm a mediocre mother of three with a talent an ability a goal to write a decent book some day.

If I'm Not a Homemaker, What Exactly Is My Title?

I was filling out an application for something the other day and I found myself stuck at the OCCUPATION section. In the past, I’ve always filled out either N/A or homemaker. (Even though for some reason this title causes my brain to short circuit. I mean, the word itself feels like a cop-out.) Now, I’m not saying that staying at home isn’t work or that the parent at home shouldn’t be showered with expensive gifts daily, I’m just stating that the word itself sucks. This post is NOT about the never-ending debate of who is a better mother depending on if they work or not. This post is about what I should be writing down for my job. What, exactly is my occupation? ...more
Good for you! I recently declared the same thing in a blog post. We must declare ourselves to BE ...more

Are Our Kids Too Soft?

I was reading a post by Mir Kamin very early this morning, where she talks about how kids today may be too soft. You can read the post here. It got me to thinking about things I do and things I do not do with my kids. The good and the bad. I think all of us parents just try to make up for the failing of our own parents' parentage. If that's a word....more

Call for Submissions

No longer taking submissions. Thanks! Kelly...more

Confidence: A Must

There is something to be said about confidence, which I have very little of. I think the lack of it started very young – I am the youngest of my siblings and always felt like I was just falling short of all “cool” and “interesting” things they could do. And I had very little support from the mother that raised me. I did okay in college. I was pretty confident then – feeling like I definitely had more life experience than some of my roommates – and was often looked up to for help. But now, I’m flipping the world as I know it upside down to attempt to achieve big things with my writing....more

Moving on...?

When is it time to give up on a book? I’ve been working and revising on my first novel for nearly three years. And honestly, I’ve queried about eighty percent of the agents out there who take young adult novels. I’ve gotten a few nibbles – a few agents interested enough in my query to ask for a taste of the writing. But most of what I get is “No.” No no no no no. A published writer that I talk to fairly often suggests revising my manuscript between submissions. I do that....more

What's the Protocol on a Free Couch?

So, you know sometimes when you move or do your annual “Spring Cleaning” (well, I don’t know about everyone else, but I certainly do) and you find an item that you just can’t stand to have in your house a moment longer and desperately want to get rid of? Do you put in on the street for someone else to take? And if so, do you leave it unmarked or do you put a sign on the thing saying, “free” or “take me home”? Well, I do....more

At least drag it up to the door of your house and when your husband gets home he can help you ...more

Squeeze Machine

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’d really like to make some more friends, I really would. It would be the cat’s ass to have some friends in my area. But, I just can’t. I shut down around people. The only friends that I have live so far away and I talk to them so very little that it’s like I have no friends at all at times. Except when I have I really bad day, I call my best friend and it’s like she sitting right beside me, grasping my hand. I was at a BMX race this weekend, watching my oldest chipmunk “Simon” do his very first race....more

Opting Out of Summer

This year, I’m going to pass on the whole summer season. There’s nothing about it I like. I hate the heat because it gives me migraines, hate the outfits that people are forced to wear because I don’t like the way my body looks and have long given up my dream of someday wearing a bikini. Even if I reach my goal of losing fifty pounds, my hamburgered had-three-babies belly would ruin the look. So I’m opting out of summer. When April is over, I’m going to move straight into October, eliminating the months that give me so much grief....more

Weight Loss Strife

I’m cranky today. I don’t know if it’s because I’m food deprived or if I’m just grumpy because I’m pouting over being food deprived. But maybe I’m cranky because I didn’t get enough sleep; I stayed up late to watch the American Idol I recorded (it comes on during family dinner time, so I must record it for later). Or maybe I’m cranky because my sleep was interrupted by weird dreams – old high school friends wanting to take care of me. Plus, my kids were up with nightmares....more

Socially Ineptness Genetic?

  In a post on my blog, www.MommyWriterHood.com, I talk about how I’m Socially Inefficient. If you befriend me – or try to – I won’t hang out with you. I won’t call you back. I might text, because that involves a whole lot less eye contact (which by the way gives me the willies). I’m not involved in any groups, affiliations (except online – again with the whole eye contact thing) and I only have one super duper close friend that I try to talk to every couple of weeks....more