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Hello, I'm Mom on the Dark Side!

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The Face Lift Dairies: Part I

5/15/12 7:53am by Mom on the Dark Side
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I'm contemplating going under the knife.  More than contemplating: the surgery is scheduled and my parents have plane tickets to fly out here.  My mom will stay to take care of the kids and my dad and I will fly out to Orlando, where his friend and colleague will perform the surgery, pulling some years out of my face and slowing down the aging process for years to come.  Read more >

How to Stroke a Man's Ego

3/1/12 12:43pm by Mom on the Dark Side
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We adopted a cat.  He is a handsome fellow: wheaten-and-taupe striped, say the papers from the shelter, with a white face and clean white socks.  He accompanies me as I move through the house, purring and twining about my legs.  His shelter name was "Evel Knieval."  I wondered about the mispelling of the word "evil"--was this a Bible-thumping Texan's way of side-stepping potential Satanic references or a case of simple bad spelling?  I confess, I was slightly disappointed when I Googled the name and found that, indeed, that is how the daredevil himself spelled it.  Read more >

Desperate Housewives: Tales of Darkness Lurking in the Heart of the Suburbs

1/24/12 12:38pm by Mom on the Dark Side
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Last week, I had a Desperate Housewives morning.  If not for the Teenager forgetting her lunch box, I would have missed it altogether.  I would have stayed in my house, wrapped in my bathrobe, slurping coffee in solitude.  Maybe I would have headed out for a run, or undertaken errands, or scribbled my solitary thoughts.  I might even have poured out my heart to a friend while I folded laundry, but I still would have been alone, phone squeezed between my ear and shoulder.  Read more >

When Dad's Away, Mom Will Play: The Best Parts of Parenting Alone

1/12/12 11:00am by Mom on the Dark Side
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donuts

And so I left him on the sidewalk outside of ticketing and drove away, praying that the call wouldn't come asking me to return to the airport and pick him up. It did not and I am blessedly free for a three-and-a-half weeks, a single mother of three. When people cluck sympathetically, I put on a brave game face, like I'm a plucky little soldier, but the truth is, there are many perks to being single.  Read more >

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Full Name
Tulip Savage
Member Since
September 2011
About Me: 

 This is not a blog for the faint of heart.  I am a cash-strapped, stay-at-home, imperfect mother of three flawed children: girls ranging from an almost-teenager to a fledgling kindergartner.  Their antics are not always funny and I do not respond to their outbursts with inerring patience and skill.  My marriage is cracked and flawed; there is sporatic companionship and too-little affection.  It is possible that he enjoys the wine he sells a wee too heartily; I've just gone and marked all of the liquor bottles with tiny, inconspicuous Sharpie marks.  I enjoy reading, writing, and running, but spend most of my day mired in housework. 

Profession: 
Stay-at-home-mother
Location: 
Austin, Texas
Location Tags: 

I currently live in Austin, Texas, but I am not a Texan.  My living situation is (I hope) temporary; I am a California girl at heart.  My home is Santa Barbra, where I can breathe in the fresh, ocean air and I do not get lost.  Texas is disgustingly, obnoxiously hot in the summer and unreasonably cold in the winter.  The streets are deliberately confusing to navigate (Go north on the South Mopac Loop, also known as the 1?  Go  south on the 360, also known as the Capital of Texas? Huh??), winding through endless strip malls and moisture-sucking, allergy-causing cedar trees.  Stranger even than the lack of ocean is the absence of towering mountains; there is nothing but rolling hills, making the land seem mutilated.

Employers: 

No one employs me.  I get child support from my ex-husband and my current husband grudginly accepts my at-home status, although he would love it if I went back to teaching high school.  I am self-employed, responsible for feeding five people, cleaning the house, supervising homework, hiding remote controls, and, mostly, putting things away: the endless bits of paper generated by three school-aged children, dishes clean and dirty, laundry, toys left in hallways, and on and on...hundreds and hundreds of items put away daily and yet somehow everyone expects that I will always know where everything is! 

 

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